March 3, 2025
The_Cancer_Chronicles_Ep_1
WEBVTT
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:30.480
Music.
00:00:30.322 --> 00:00:35.662
You have to keep it. Welcome to the Knucklehead Chronicles Podcast.
00:00:40.242 --> 00:00:47.602
And what's going on, man? Welcome. I want to welcome everyone to this episode
00:00:47.602 --> 00:00:49.382
of the Knucklehead Chronicles Podcast.
00:00:49.382 --> 00:00:56.202
This is, my name is Terry, as you can see in one of the corners here.
00:00:56.742 --> 00:00:59.582
This is the Cancer Chronicles.
00:01:00.462 --> 00:01:06.702
And I am rebooting my podcast because I'm bored and I don't have anything else better to do.
00:01:06.842 --> 00:01:10.182
So, no, I do have better things to do, like sleep.
00:01:10.442 --> 00:01:21.182
But anyway, I'm rebooting my podcast because I was dealt a pretty stiff diagnosis.
00:01:23.122 --> 00:01:27.342
And a lot of people are going to ask me, you know, why are you doing this?
00:01:27.422 --> 00:01:37.022
What is this about? You know, and the reason why I am rebranding my podcast
00:01:37.022 --> 00:01:45.042
is because I want to be able to help someone who is possibly going through the same thing or,
00:01:45.182 --> 00:01:47.962
you know,
00:01:48.122 --> 00:01:50.922
have a loved one that's going through the same thing.
00:01:51.582 --> 00:02:01.042
So those of you who have not heard or have not seen this particular or heard my story at all,
00:02:01.302 --> 00:02:06.602
this is my purpose.
00:02:06.822 --> 00:02:10.362
This is my purpose. I believe this is my purpose to sit here behind my mic and
00:02:10.362 --> 00:02:14.622
behind my computer screens and try to give you guys a little bit of a story time.
00:02:15.902 --> 00:02:20.102
So let me get into it. Now, those of you guys, you know, I'm a man of a certain
00:02:20.102 --> 00:02:21.702
age. I'm 49 years old, right?
00:02:22.662 --> 00:02:26.762
So, of course, being 49 and being a black man.
00:02:29.502 --> 00:02:35.902
We struggle with certain health issues, diabetes, prostate cancer, things of this nature.
00:02:36.302 --> 00:02:41.042
Diabetes is one of the biggest killers of African-American men across this country.
00:02:41.742 --> 00:02:48.222
And so those of you who watch me, who have watched me know my story.
00:02:49.082 --> 00:02:54.242
I went through a divorce last year. So 2024 was a rough year.
00:02:54.982 --> 00:02:56.202
I went through a divorce.
00:02:57.102 --> 00:03:03.062
I had a, not a health scare, but my diabetes, my sugar had gotten really high.
00:03:03.422 --> 00:03:04.922
I didn't know how to control it.
00:03:05.662 --> 00:03:10.802
And so I started losing a bunch of weight. I started urinating a lot and I was
00:03:10.802 --> 00:03:11.942
having a bunch of issues, right?
00:03:12.102 --> 00:03:17.042
So I went through that. That was the early part of 24. so.
00:03:18.881 --> 00:03:22.261
So go through the year, I'm already dealing with mental health.
00:03:22.421 --> 00:03:29.181
I'm dealing with, you know, my divorce and that not being, it's really taken,
00:03:29.461 --> 00:03:31.901
it really took a toll on me.
00:03:33.381 --> 00:03:37.601
So I was like, okay, I need to figure this out, right?
00:03:37.601 --> 00:03:45.081
And so let's say September of 2024, maybe October, I started feeling,
00:03:45.221 --> 00:03:49.201
you know, it's kind of bad, just kind of sick and things of this nature and
00:03:49.201 --> 00:03:51.321
a lot of abdominal pain, things of this nature.
00:03:51.541 --> 00:03:58.301
So the first thing I would say to people is that if you do not do not ignore
00:03:58.301 --> 00:04:01.901
your body, right, if your body is telling you or you're feeling a certain way
00:04:01.901 --> 00:04:02.901
about something, you'll be seen.
00:04:04.121 --> 00:04:09.461
Excuse me, go to the doctor. And so, you know, I kind of ignored it.
00:04:09.721 --> 00:04:16.661
You know, I just figured it was my diabetes doing a, I thought my diabetes had
00:04:16.661 --> 00:04:18.261
spent a block on me and came back.
00:04:20.881 --> 00:04:24.841
So I really ignored it this much. I wasn't taking any insulin.
00:04:25.041 --> 00:04:29.521
I was taking the only thing that I was taking for my diabetes at the time was metformin.
00:04:30.201 --> 00:04:33.481
So, of course, anybody that's a conspiracy theorist knows that men's form is
00:04:33.481 --> 00:04:36.521
bad for an American man or people in general. Right.
00:04:37.441 --> 00:04:40.521
So I really didn't think anything. I think anything of the diabetes.
00:04:40.721 --> 00:04:42.801
I just kind of kind of just my business.
00:04:43.321 --> 00:04:47.601
But it got too bad. You know, October, November, it really got bad.
00:04:49.181 --> 00:04:55.221
So I ended up going to work one day. as those who, again, follow me,
00:04:55.281 --> 00:04:57.541
know that I was a CO at a prison.
00:04:59.081 --> 00:05:03.281
And I went into work one day and I went to see the employee health nurse because
00:05:03.281 --> 00:05:06.321
my vitals were all over the place and all that.
00:05:08.101 --> 00:05:14.701
And so I go to see her and she says, hey, you don't look very well. I was sweating.
00:05:14.901 --> 00:05:17.341
I think I had turned yellow. A lot of my...
00:05:19.700 --> 00:05:22.580
You know you turn yellow you know
00:05:22.580 --> 00:05:25.540
it's a china issue delivery issue just nap and so
00:05:25.540 --> 00:05:28.220
she was like hey i need for you to go to
00:05:28.220 --> 00:05:30.920
the doctor i need you go to the er now the
00:05:30.920 --> 00:05:35.600
last time she told me that you know i came home i got in the bed and i was okay
00:05:35.600 --> 00:05:41.620
the next day right they take anything of it um so i ended up that particular
00:05:41.620 --> 00:05:49.600
day i'm glad i'm glad i listened to her because that day i went to the ER in the next city over.
00:05:50.780 --> 00:05:55.500
And they did my blood work. That's the first thing they do when you go to the ER, do your blood work.
00:05:55.820 --> 00:05:59.560
And I guess my numbers weren't looking the way it's supposed to be looking.
00:06:00.260 --> 00:06:04.320
So they did a CT scan on me. They wheeled me downstairs.
00:06:05.020 --> 00:06:08.720
I got into the big machine, no biggie, right?
00:06:09.280 --> 00:06:12.620
Again, I'm thinking, I'm planning it off in my head. I'm thinking that's because
00:06:12.620 --> 00:06:16.180
it's my diabetes acting up. my sugar is not where it's supposed to be.
00:06:17.240 --> 00:06:18.640
And so, um,
00:06:19.790 --> 00:06:22.930
They wheeled me back up to the ER room that I was in.
00:06:23.830 --> 00:06:27.550
The ER doc came in about 30 minutes later, and she says, hey,
00:06:27.870 --> 00:06:32.030
your numbers aren't looking the way we want them to look.
00:06:33.330 --> 00:06:38.110
There's a number called the Billy Rubin that has something to do with your liver
00:06:38.110 --> 00:06:40.290
or pancreas, output, or what have you.
00:06:41.110 --> 00:06:50.450
But she came back in. And she says, Mr. Little, we see a mass on your pancreas.
00:06:50.450 --> 00:06:52.110
It's at the head of your pancreas.
00:06:52.510 --> 00:06:56.330
Some masses are in the tail of the pancreas. Other masses are in the head.
00:06:58.250 --> 00:07:03.110
But the good news is it hadn't spread anywhere. It hadn't metastasized to anything.
00:07:03.450 --> 00:07:05.190
So it was just in the head of my pancreas.
00:07:06.370 --> 00:07:09.230
So after she says that, about 10 minutes later, she says, hey,
00:07:09.390 --> 00:07:11.090
we don't have an oncologist here.
00:07:12.590 --> 00:07:16.470
Transfer you to the biggest city, which is Columbia.
00:07:17.230 --> 00:07:23.070
And Columbia has the University of Missouri, you know, the whole health system there.
00:07:23.890 --> 00:07:30.010
So next thing I know, you know, uniform on everything, they put me in the back
00:07:30.010 --> 00:07:34.710
of the ambulance and transferred me from Jefferson City to Columbia.
00:07:35.490 --> 00:07:39.830
So I get to Columbia and I get there about 10.30, 11 o'clock.
00:07:40.490 --> 00:07:44.690
And this is the week of Christmas, Christmas Eve, Christmas.
00:07:45.670 --> 00:07:51.610
And so they wheeled me into my room, and they wheeled me down for an OCT scan
00:07:51.610 --> 00:07:54.350
just to get a, I guess, just to get a confirmation.
00:07:55.930 --> 00:08:00.630
And they did that. My blood sugar was somewhere between 550, 600.
00:08:00.830 --> 00:08:05.210
I mean, I could have went into a coma, but I didn't. Thank God for that.
00:08:05.970 --> 00:08:13.370
Uh so i go uh have a ct i come back to my room the next morning this is christmas
00:08:13.370 --> 00:08:18.950
eve the next morning the doctor comes in and uh and really cool really cool
00:08:18.950 --> 00:08:23.630
doctors you know and he came in and he said um mr little um.
00:08:25.654 --> 00:08:30.274
You have stage three and the, and Dean and Dean, and Dean, and Dean,
00:08:30.894 --> 00:08:32.294
I think that's what it's called.
00:08:34.634 --> 00:08:38.454
And to get that kind of news on Christmas Eve was like, wow, what?
00:08:38.774 --> 00:08:41.014
Like you couldn't come in here. You couldn't say Merry Christmas,
00:08:41.194 --> 00:08:44.414
nothing. You just say happy holidays or whatever it is.
00:08:45.714 --> 00:08:50.074
I got what? I got stage three and Dean, and Dean, and Dean, and Dean,
00:08:50.234 --> 00:08:53.254
and Dean carcinoma. Uh, thank you. He had a cancer.
00:08:56.014 --> 00:08:59.834
When I tell you that my life flashed on my eyes because, you know,
00:08:59.874 --> 00:09:03.134
I got a son. I got a seven-year-old son who's going to be eight here pretty soon.
00:09:04.714 --> 00:09:12.094
I got grandkids. I got two grown daughters, you know, three or four stepkids that love me.
00:09:12.374 --> 00:09:15.454
And that was a hard pill to swallow.
00:09:16.214 --> 00:09:20.434
It really was. And so, you know, a lot of the people that I work with,
00:09:20.594 --> 00:09:24.494
they came in and rallied around me And my ex-wife, she came,
00:09:24.594 --> 00:09:27.414
she supported me, and she held my hand, and she was my advocate.
00:09:30.054 --> 00:09:36.794
So going through that Christmas time, I was never really big on Christmas anyway,
00:09:37.314 --> 00:09:43.734
but Christmas really will have a different connotation for me.
00:09:43.734 --> 00:09:51.994
Now I have a different, I have a different outlook on how they see them from now on.
00:09:54.914 --> 00:09:58.454
So, so of course, you know, everybody's panicking, you know,
00:09:58.874 --> 00:10:01.334
and I'm kind of, I'm in shock.
00:10:02.154 --> 00:10:04.474
And I stayed in shock for the longest.
00:10:05.614 --> 00:10:10.174
And I think I'm feeling shocked some days, but, you know, living,
00:10:10.394 --> 00:10:13.854
knowing that I have this particular cancer. Wow.
00:10:14.704 --> 00:10:15.284
It's really tough.
00:10:18.044 --> 00:10:21.844
So everybody, you know, talking chemo and you got to have surgery.
00:10:22.024 --> 00:10:27.684
I got to get my, I got to get a port put in, which I wear.
00:10:28.164 --> 00:10:33.304
If you look, there's a scar on my neck here. That's where they put it into my jugular.
00:10:33.544 --> 00:10:39.364
And then I have a little piece that's right here to where when I go in to do
00:10:39.364 --> 00:10:43.184
blood work, I just pop it into my chest instead of trying to get a vein.
00:10:43.184 --> 00:10:47.384
It just popped into my chest and my blood worked from there, which hurt.
00:10:47.504 --> 00:10:51.744
So my first biggest thing was the poor placement.
00:10:52.304 --> 00:10:56.824
And I was like, it's going on here. And so I meet with the surgeon,
00:10:59.124 --> 00:11:06.384
and surgeons have no bedside manner at all. I've never met a surgeon that had a good bedside manner.
00:11:06.544 --> 00:11:08.984
Everybody was, they stayed to the point.
00:11:09.384 --> 00:11:16.524
And he was like, hey, my man, like, you can do chemo, but it's not going to
00:11:16.524 --> 00:11:22.384
shrink because the mass had what they call a vein involvement.
00:11:22.724 --> 00:11:26.704
So I have a vein that runs through the pancreas. If that mass is around that
00:11:26.704 --> 00:11:28.384
vein, they can't go in and do surgery.
00:11:28.824 --> 00:11:32.284
So the mass that I have is inoperable now.
00:11:34.624 --> 00:11:38.844
So I'm living with this cancer and I can't get surgery. I got to go through chemo.
00:11:39.224 --> 00:11:45.164
So I get my poor placement and it's I got my port placed like way early.
00:11:45.424 --> 00:11:51.604
It was like, I didn't have my first chemo session for another month after I got my port placed.
00:11:54.504 --> 00:12:00.884
So the waiting was hard because I can't sleep on my side where the port is because
00:12:00.884 --> 00:12:03.304
it hurts, you know, to be honest with you.
00:12:05.164 --> 00:12:09.364
It's a really hard place. It's a really hard place. And I'm like, okay, man.
00:12:11.170 --> 00:12:15.470
What am I doing? You know, what's going on? Why is this happening to me?
00:12:16.550 --> 00:12:21.490
Um, you know, I live back over my life and I've done some crazy stuff. I lived a crazy life.
00:12:21.590 --> 00:12:24.510
I mean, I didn't do any drugs or anything like that, but you know,
00:12:24.630 --> 00:12:31.090
I smoked cigarettes for years and, you know, I got to tell you guys that if
00:12:31.090 --> 00:12:36.570
you're watching this and if you're listening to what I'm telling you, um, it's scary.
00:12:37.010 --> 00:12:42.430
It's scary for me. Um, but, um, I got a pretty good support system.
00:12:43.950 --> 00:12:48.330
Nobody's left me hanging yet, you know, so it's all good. That's why she goes
00:12:48.330 --> 00:12:49.630
to my chemo sessions with me.
00:12:49.990 --> 00:12:54.150
You know, she doesn't really have to because of obligations.
00:12:55.010 --> 00:12:58.430
Obligations aren't with me. They're with, you know, the kids and her life and
00:12:58.430 --> 00:13:01.190
everything. And that's cool, and I appreciate her for being there.
00:13:03.270 --> 00:13:08.870
And everybody else, you know, shout out to my classmates, Sarissa Borden and
00:13:08.870 --> 00:13:10.590
all those guys. Shout out to y'all.
00:13:12.130 --> 00:13:16.550
So she started, she started a, I'm not going to go fund me, but she put it in
00:13:16.550 --> 00:13:17.770
our high school class group.
00:13:17.910 --> 00:13:20.250
Hey, y'all donate to this man.
00:13:20.430 --> 00:13:22.850
He's going through a lot, da, da, da, da, da. And so everybody came through
00:13:22.850 --> 00:13:26.110
to support. So support is very important, especially when you're going through something like this.
00:13:26.710 --> 00:13:29.290
Because if you feel like you're going through this by yourself,
00:13:30.290 --> 00:13:33.570
it really gets tough and it really drains the mental.
00:13:34.350 --> 00:13:36.770
And if you're already struggling with mental, it makes it worse.
00:13:37.110 --> 00:13:40.570
And I'm that guy that I struggle with my mental sometimes.
00:13:40.690 --> 00:13:45.310
Because, you know, the loss of my wife, I mean, you know, my divorce was hard
00:13:45.310 --> 00:13:47.750
on me last year. I mean, so I still struggle with that.
00:13:48.090 --> 00:13:54.090
So it's not like it's, you know, I'm walking this thing out and I'm all good. I'm not, I'm not.
00:13:54.610 --> 00:13:59.830
And they say, and people say all the time, you know, it's okay to not, it's okay to not be okay.
00:14:02.870 --> 00:14:07.270
And that's probably the truest thing that is any, you know, anyone's ever said. Yeah.
00:14:09.556 --> 00:14:16.376
So, going into chemo, you know, having a support system in place, having, you know,
00:14:17.276 --> 00:14:21.936
different visits to the doctor, oncologists, dieticians, you know,
00:14:22.056 --> 00:14:26.796
everybody that you can possibly want to talk to in a time like that,
00:14:26.896 --> 00:14:29.536
you're going to talk to them. You're going to be in their face, you know.
00:14:33.036 --> 00:14:37.316
So, my first round of chemo, and I got to tell you, going into chemo,
00:14:37.336 --> 00:14:41.856
that season was really, really, really hard because I was really,
00:14:41.976 --> 00:14:43.336
really, really scared, right?
00:14:43.936 --> 00:14:50.996
So, you go, when you start stuff like that, you go into, I wouldn't say panic
00:14:50.996 --> 00:14:54.416
mode, but it's almost like, okay, what am I getting myself into?
00:14:56.436 --> 00:15:00.136
Because some people like they choose not to do chemo because they don't want
00:15:00.136 --> 00:15:06.196
it to change their quality of life and I said well and I almost did that I almost
00:15:06.196 --> 00:15:07.216
got to the point where I'm
00:15:07.556 --> 00:15:11.476
just I'm not gonna do chemo I'm just gonna do the rest of my life and how much
00:15:11.476 --> 00:15:16.416
time I got left right and then I was like you know what nah I'm gonna I'm gonna
00:15:16.416 --> 00:15:18.036
have to fight this a little bit Right.
00:15:18.656 --> 00:15:20.196
So I decided to do chemo.
00:15:21.456 --> 00:15:28.876
My first round of chemo wasn't as bad as everybody made it say,
00:15:29.056 --> 00:15:32.936
because, you know, if you ask 10 different people about chemo,
00:15:33.536 --> 00:15:38.836
you'll get 10 different 10 different answers because chemo affects everyone differently.
00:15:39.436 --> 00:15:43.956
Some people, they have a weak immune system. Chemo hits them,
00:15:43.976 --> 00:15:47.276
and it's just like they go downhill, right?
00:15:47.876 --> 00:15:55.636
Now, at 49, I'm not the healthiest guy on the planet, but I do, I am a little bit strong.
00:15:56.136 --> 00:16:03.656
And so my first round of chemo was, okay, this isn't as bad.
00:16:03.656 --> 00:16:13.436
So how my chemo sessions work is I get, I have an infusion, right? I'm on Florinox.
00:16:14.196 --> 00:16:19.056
So I have an infusion. I have my infusion day, which is on a Friday.
00:16:19.996 --> 00:16:25.456
I sit in an infusion chair for maybe three or four hours maybe because one medication
00:16:25.456 --> 00:16:29.056
they put, one medication that they put in me takes about 90 minutes.
00:16:29.556 --> 00:16:33.716
The other one takes about 60 or so minutes, maybe a little bit more.
00:16:34.076 --> 00:16:40.056
And they put the port into my, they put the drugs through my port.
00:16:40.316 --> 00:16:42.996
And so I sit in the infusion chair. Um.
00:16:44.115 --> 00:16:47.875
And then after I get done with my infusion, they de-access my port.
00:16:48.015 --> 00:16:49.195
No, they don't de-access it.
00:16:49.535 --> 00:16:53.715
They actually change everything over, and I wear a fanny pack that has the actual
00:16:53.715 --> 00:16:56.615
chemo drug and a big old ball.
00:16:57.075 --> 00:17:01.615
And I wear that in a fanny pack two days. So I get infused on Friday.
00:17:01.835 --> 00:17:07.395
I wear the fanny pack Saturday and Sunday, and then I get de-access through my port on Sunday.
00:17:09.055 --> 00:17:13.375
So my first round, not bad. Didn't really have any effects.
00:17:14.755 --> 00:17:18.815
I was still eating, drinking, you know, like normal.
00:17:19.715 --> 00:17:29.335
I think the worst effect that I had after my first round of chemo was sensitivity to cold.
00:17:30.935 --> 00:17:34.395
So it's a term, I think it's called neuropathy, is what it's called.
00:17:35.035 --> 00:17:37.875
And you get certain sensations in your fingers and your toes and,
00:17:37.935 --> 00:17:41.595
you know, you kind of want to keep an eye on that because if it gets too bad, they stop your chemo.
00:17:42.515 --> 00:17:47.615
Because they have to downsize your medication because you shouldn't be getting those feelings.
00:17:48.075 --> 00:17:52.115
So the first round, I did not have that. I think I had a little bit of sensitivity
00:17:52.115 --> 00:17:53.395
as I drank something cold.
00:17:53.695 --> 00:17:57.395
It felt like I was swallowing razor blades or shards of glass,
00:17:57.395 --> 00:17:58.595
which is really painful.
00:17:59.955 --> 00:18:06.015
So if you are a chemo patient, a survivor of chemo, whatever,
00:18:06.415 --> 00:18:08.455
and you wouldn't even know what I'm talking about.
00:18:09.195 --> 00:18:13.535
It feels like shards of glass you're swallowing. So I have to drink everything
00:18:13.535 --> 00:18:16.915
at room temperature. So I can have drinks.
00:18:17.115 --> 00:18:20.715
I can have water, soda, whatever. I try to lay out the soda.
00:18:22.035 --> 00:18:24.875
But no water, juice, anything like that.
00:18:25.015 --> 00:18:27.475
I can have those things, but they have to be at room temperature.
00:18:27.475 --> 00:18:30.095
I can't drink anything straight out of the refrigerator.
00:18:30.355 --> 00:18:35.035
I can't even go into the freezer and touch anything in there without gloves
00:18:35.035 --> 00:18:36.775
on because of sensitivity.
00:18:38.095 --> 00:18:43.095
So I didn't really, you know, again, I'm going through my thing and I'm like, all right.
00:18:45.799 --> 00:18:50.799
So the first round was cool. The second round was a little different.
00:18:51.659 --> 00:19:02.999
The neuropathy was way worse the second time around because the tingling was really, really bad.
00:19:03.539 --> 00:19:09.759
I had gloves, right? But when I got done with my second round of chemo,
00:19:09.939 --> 00:19:15.139
it felt like I was being cut in my fingers, right?
00:19:15.799 --> 00:19:19.899
And it was a cold day, you know, here in Missouri. That day was cold,
00:19:19.919 --> 00:19:25.259
but I couldn't even, I left the infusion and I got in my car to get ready to leave.
00:19:25.659 --> 00:19:28.439
And I couldn't even touch my steering wheel. That's how bad it was.
00:19:28.759 --> 00:19:30.379
That's why my neuropathy was concerned.
00:19:31.259 --> 00:19:34.859
And then it moved to my toes and that was really bad. So, you know,
00:19:36.339 --> 00:19:40.039
going through chemo and all of that, it was really tough.
00:19:40.139 --> 00:19:45.699
I'm really fatigued a lot. So I have to stay busy and do things and walk and
00:19:45.699 --> 00:19:46.879
exercise and all that stuff.
00:19:47.239 --> 00:19:52.399
And it was just really hard, little brother. And it's really hard for me.
00:19:54.399 --> 00:19:59.299
But I said all of that in this episode tonight to tell you this.
00:20:00.383 --> 00:20:06.483
Is to be encouraging. And I'm not just talking to the people that are watching. I'm talking to me.
00:20:06.823 --> 00:20:12.943
This encourages me as well because I do have my days where I battle with depression
00:20:12.943 --> 00:20:16.883
and I battle with my mental health. I battle with that every single day.
00:20:18.823 --> 00:20:23.483
So I'm not sitting here in front of this camera like I am just the most perfect
00:20:23.483 --> 00:20:24.543
guy on the planet because I'm not.
00:20:24.643 --> 00:20:27.383
I am absolutely not. And I struggle.
00:20:28.043 --> 00:20:32.283
But I want to walk I want to take this journey I want you guys to take this
00:20:32.283 --> 00:20:38.343
journey with me to encourage me and to also encourage you because when people,
00:20:39.803 --> 00:20:45.143
who support cancer patients and when they say you are not walking this alone they mean that,
00:20:46.383 --> 00:20:50.343
and so I want you to know I want you to look me in my eyes when I say this is
00:20:50.343 --> 00:20:56.983
that I am in this race with you I'm in that boat right along with you paddling
00:20:56.983 --> 00:20:59.203
right beside you. And we're going to get through this.
00:20:59.943 --> 00:21:03.843
And so I want to thank you guys for listening. Listen, if I said anything in
00:21:03.843 --> 00:21:08.783
this podcast episode that you enjoyed that made any sense and you want to follow
00:21:08.783 --> 00:21:13.463
along on the journey, please subscribe to the YouTube channel and the link.
00:21:14.823 --> 00:21:17.403
If you're watching me on TikTok, I appreciate you.
00:21:19.583 --> 00:21:24.883
I'm going to put this kind of like everywhere. So I want you guys to be encouraged.
00:21:24.883 --> 00:21:31.643
Remember that we are all one race the human race and when i say that i love
00:21:31.643 --> 00:21:35.563
you i don't even know you but i want to tell you that i love you and we're going
00:21:35.563 --> 00:21:36.583
to get through this together,
00:21:37.823 --> 00:21:44.323
so until the next episode you guys have a wonderful wonderful evening and i will see you next time.
00:21:52.400 --> 00:22:25.735
Music.
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:30.480
Music.
00:00:30.322 --> 00:00:35.662
You have to keep it. Welcome to the Knucklehead Chronicles Podcast.
00:00:40.242 --> 00:00:47.602
And what's going on, man? Welcome. I want to welcome everyone to this episode
00:00:47.602 --> 00:00:49.382
of the Knucklehead Chronicles Podcast.
00:00:49.382 --> 00:00:56.202
This is, my name is Terry, as you can see in one of the corners here.
00:00:56.742 --> 00:00:59.582
This is the Cancer Chronicles.
00:01:00.462 --> 00:01:06.702
And I am rebooting my podcast because I'm bored and I don't have anything else better to do.
00:01:06.842 --> 00:01:10.182
So, no, I do have better things to do, like sleep.
00:01:10.442 --> 00:01:21.182
But anyway, I'm rebooting my podcast because I was dealt a pretty stiff diagnosis.
00:01:23.122 --> 00:01:27.342
And a lot of people are going to ask me, you know, why are you doing this?
00:01:27.422 --> 00:01:37.022
What is this about? You know, and the reason why I am rebranding my podcast
00:01:37.022 --> 00:01:45.042
is because I want to be able to help someone who is possibly going through the same thing or,
00:01:45.182 --> 00:01:47.962
you know,
00:01:48.122 --> 00:01:50.922
have a loved one that's going through the same thing.
00:01:51.582 --> 00:02:01.042
So those of you who have not heard or have not seen this particular or heard my story at all,
00:02:01.302 --> 00:02:06.602
this is my purpose.
00:02:06.822 --> 00:02:10.362
This is my purpose. I believe this is my purpose to sit here behind my mic and
00:02:10.362 --> 00:02:14.622
behind my computer screens and try to give you guys a little bit of a story time.
00:02:15.902 --> 00:02:20.102
So let me get into it. Now, those of you guys, you know, I'm a man of a certain
00:02:20.102 --> 00:02:21.702
age. I'm 49 years old, right?
00:02:22.662 --> 00:02:26.762
So, of course, being 49 and being a black man.
00:02:29.502 --> 00:02:35.902
We struggle with certain health issues, diabetes, prostate cancer, things of this nature.
00:02:36.302 --> 00:02:41.042
Diabetes is one of the biggest killers of African-American men across this country.
00:02:41.742 --> 00:02:48.222
And so those of you who watch me, who have watched me know my story.
00:02:49.082 --> 00:02:54.242
I went through a divorce last year. So 2024 was a rough year.
00:02:54.982 --> 00:02:56.202
I went through a divorce.
00:02:57.102 --> 00:03:03.062
I had a, not a health scare, but my diabetes, my sugar had gotten really high.
00:03:03.422 --> 00:03:04.922
I didn't know how to control it.
00:03:05.662 --> 00:03:10.802
And so I started losing a bunch of weight. I started urinating a lot and I was
00:03:10.802 --> 00:03:11.942
having a bunch of issues, right?
00:03:12.102 --> 00:03:17.042
So I went through that. That was the early part of 24. so.
00:03:18.881 --> 00:03:22.261
So go through the year, I'm already dealing with mental health.
00:03:22.421 --> 00:03:29.181
I'm dealing with, you know, my divorce and that not being, it's really taken,
00:03:29.461 --> 00:03:31.901
it really took a toll on me.
00:03:33.381 --> 00:03:37.601
So I was like, okay, I need to figure this out, right?
00:03:37.601 --> 00:03:45.081
And so let's say September of 2024, maybe October, I started feeling,
00:03:45.221 --> 00:03:49.201
you know, it's kind of bad, just kind of sick and things of this nature and
00:03:49.201 --> 00:03:51.321
a lot of abdominal pain, things of this nature.
00:03:51.541 --> 00:03:58.301
So the first thing I would say to people is that if you do not do not ignore
00:03:58.301 --> 00:04:01.901
your body, right, if your body is telling you or you're feeling a certain way
00:04:01.901 --> 00:04:02.901
about something, you'll be seen.
00:04:04.121 --> 00:04:09.461
Excuse me, go to the doctor. And so, you know, I kind of ignored it.
00:04:09.721 --> 00:04:16.661
You know, I just figured it was my diabetes doing a, I thought my diabetes had
00:04:16.661 --> 00:04:18.261
spent a block on me and came back.
00:04:20.881 --> 00:04:24.841
So I really ignored it this much. I wasn't taking any insulin.
00:04:25.041 --> 00:04:29.521
I was taking the only thing that I was taking for my diabetes at the time was metformin.
00:04:30.201 --> 00:04:33.481
So, of course, anybody that's a conspiracy theorist knows that men's form is
00:04:33.481 --> 00:04:36.521
bad for an American man or people in general. Right.
00:04:37.441 --> 00:04:40.521
So I really didn't think anything. I think anything of the diabetes.
00:04:40.721 --> 00:04:42.801
I just kind of kind of just my business.
00:04:43.321 --> 00:04:47.601
But it got too bad. You know, October, November, it really got bad.
00:04:49.181 --> 00:04:55.221
So I ended up going to work one day. as those who, again, follow me,
00:04:55.281 --> 00:04:57.541
know that I was a CO at a prison.
00:04:59.081 --> 00:05:03.281
And I went into work one day and I went to see the employee health nurse because
00:05:03.281 --> 00:05:06.321
my vitals were all over the place and all that.
00:05:08.101 --> 00:05:14.701
And so I go to see her and she says, hey, you don't look very well. I was sweating.
00:05:14.901 --> 00:05:17.341
I think I had turned yellow. A lot of my...
00:05:19.700 --> 00:05:22.580
You know you turn yellow you know
00:05:22.580 --> 00:05:25.540
it's a china issue delivery issue just nap and so
00:05:25.540 --> 00:05:28.220
she was like hey i need for you to go to
00:05:28.220 --> 00:05:30.920
the doctor i need you go to the er now the
00:05:30.920 --> 00:05:35.600
last time she told me that you know i came home i got in the bed and i was okay
00:05:35.600 --> 00:05:41.620
the next day right they take anything of it um so i ended up that particular
00:05:41.620 --> 00:05:49.600
day i'm glad i'm glad i listened to her because that day i went to the ER in the next city over.
00:05:50.780 --> 00:05:55.500
And they did my blood work. That's the first thing they do when you go to the ER, do your blood work.
00:05:55.820 --> 00:05:59.560
And I guess my numbers weren't looking the way it's supposed to be looking.
00:06:00.260 --> 00:06:04.320
So they did a CT scan on me. They wheeled me downstairs.
00:06:05.020 --> 00:06:08.720
I got into the big machine, no biggie, right?
00:06:09.280 --> 00:06:12.620
Again, I'm thinking, I'm planning it off in my head. I'm thinking that's because
00:06:12.620 --> 00:06:16.180
it's my diabetes acting up. my sugar is not where it's supposed to be.
00:06:17.240 --> 00:06:18.640
And so, um,
00:06:19.790 --> 00:06:22.930
They wheeled me back up to the ER room that I was in.
00:06:23.830 --> 00:06:27.550
The ER doc came in about 30 minutes later, and she says, hey,
00:06:27.870 --> 00:06:32.030
your numbers aren't looking the way we want them to look.
00:06:33.330 --> 00:06:38.110
There's a number called the Billy Rubin that has something to do with your liver
00:06:38.110 --> 00:06:40.290
or pancreas, output, or what have you.
00:06:41.110 --> 00:06:50.450
But she came back in. And she says, Mr. Little, we see a mass on your pancreas.
00:06:50.450 --> 00:06:52.110
It's at the head of your pancreas.
00:06:52.510 --> 00:06:56.330
Some masses are in the tail of the pancreas. Other masses are in the head.
00:06:58.250 --> 00:07:03.110
But the good news is it hadn't spread anywhere. It hadn't metastasized to anything.
00:07:03.450 --> 00:07:05.190
So it was just in the head of my pancreas.
00:07:06.370 --> 00:07:09.230
So after she says that, about 10 minutes later, she says, hey,
00:07:09.390 --> 00:07:11.090
we don't have an oncologist here.
00:07:12.590 --> 00:07:16.470
Transfer you to the biggest city, which is Columbia.
00:07:17.230 --> 00:07:23.070
And Columbia has the University of Missouri, you know, the whole health system there.
00:07:23.890 --> 00:07:30.010
So next thing I know, you know, uniform on everything, they put me in the back
00:07:30.010 --> 00:07:34.710
of the ambulance and transferred me from Jefferson City to Columbia.
00:07:35.490 --> 00:07:39.830
So I get to Columbia and I get there about 10.30, 11 o'clock.
00:07:40.490 --> 00:07:44.690
And this is the week of Christmas, Christmas Eve, Christmas.
00:07:45.670 --> 00:07:51.610
And so they wheeled me into my room, and they wheeled me down for an OCT scan
00:07:51.610 --> 00:07:54.350
just to get a, I guess, just to get a confirmation.
00:07:55.930 --> 00:08:00.630
And they did that. My blood sugar was somewhere between 550, 600.
00:08:00.830 --> 00:08:05.210
I mean, I could have went into a coma, but I didn't. Thank God for that.
00:08:05.970 --> 00:08:13.370
Uh so i go uh have a ct i come back to my room the next morning this is christmas
00:08:13.370 --> 00:08:18.950
eve the next morning the doctor comes in and uh and really cool really cool
00:08:18.950 --> 00:08:23.630
doctors you know and he came in and he said um mr little um.
00:08:25.654 --> 00:08:30.274
You have stage three and the, and Dean and Dean, and Dean, and Dean,
00:08:30.894 --> 00:08:32.294
I think that's what it's called.
00:08:34.634 --> 00:08:38.454
And to get that kind of news on Christmas Eve was like, wow, what?
00:08:38.774 --> 00:08:41.014
Like you couldn't come in here. You couldn't say Merry Christmas,
00:08:41.194 --> 00:08:44.414
nothing. You just say happy holidays or whatever it is.
00:08:45.714 --> 00:08:50.074
I got what? I got stage three and Dean, and Dean, and Dean, and Dean,
00:08:50.234 --> 00:08:53.254
and Dean carcinoma. Uh, thank you. He had a cancer.
00:08:56.014 --> 00:08:59.834
When I tell you that my life flashed on my eyes because, you know,
00:08:59.874 --> 00:09:03.134
I got a son. I got a seven-year-old son who's going to be eight here pretty soon.
00:09:04.714 --> 00:09:12.094
I got grandkids. I got two grown daughters, you know, three or four stepkids that love me.
00:09:12.374 --> 00:09:15.454
And that was a hard pill to swallow.
00:09:16.214 --> 00:09:20.434
It really was. And so, you know, a lot of the people that I work with,
00:09:20.594 --> 00:09:24.494
they came in and rallied around me And my ex-wife, she came,
00:09:24.594 --> 00:09:27.414
she supported me, and she held my hand, and she was my advocate.
00:09:30.054 --> 00:09:36.794
So going through that Christmas time, I was never really big on Christmas anyway,
00:09:37.314 --> 00:09:43.734
but Christmas really will have a different connotation for me.
00:09:43.734 --> 00:09:51.994
Now I have a different, I have a different outlook on how they see them from now on.
00:09:54.914 --> 00:09:58.454
So, so of course, you know, everybody's panicking, you know,
00:09:58.874 --> 00:10:01.334
and I'm kind of, I'm in shock.
00:10:02.154 --> 00:10:04.474
And I stayed in shock for the longest.
00:10:05.614 --> 00:10:10.174
And I think I'm feeling shocked some days, but, you know, living,
00:10:10.394 --> 00:10:13.854
knowing that I have this particular cancer. Wow.
00:10:14.704 --> 00:10:15.284
It's really tough.
00:10:18.044 --> 00:10:21.844
So everybody, you know, talking chemo and you got to have surgery.
00:10:22.024 --> 00:10:27.684
I got to get my, I got to get a port put in, which I wear.
00:10:28.164 --> 00:10:33.304
If you look, there's a scar on my neck here. That's where they put it into my jugular.
00:10:33.544 --> 00:10:39.364
And then I have a little piece that's right here to where when I go in to do
00:10:39.364 --> 00:10:43.184
blood work, I just pop it into my chest instead of trying to get a vein.
00:10:43.184 --> 00:10:47.384
It just popped into my chest and my blood worked from there, which hurt.
00:10:47.504 --> 00:10:51.744
So my first biggest thing was the poor placement.
00:10:52.304 --> 00:10:56.824
And I was like, it's going on here. And so I meet with the surgeon,
00:10:59.124 --> 00:11:06.384
and surgeons have no bedside manner at all. I've never met a surgeon that had a good bedside manner.
00:11:06.544 --> 00:11:08.984
Everybody was, they stayed to the point.
00:11:09.384 --> 00:11:16.524
And he was like, hey, my man, like, you can do chemo, but it's not going to
00:11:16.524 --> 00:11:22.384
shrink because the mass had what they call a vein involvement.
00:11:22.724 --> 00:11:26.704
So I have a vein that runs through the pancreas. If that mass is around that
00:11:26.704 --> 00:11:28.384
vein, they can't go in and do surgery.
00:11:28.824 --> 00:11:32.284
So the mass that I have is inoperable now.
00:11:34.624 --> 00:11:38.844
So I'm living with this cancer and I can't get surgery. I got to go through chemo.
00:11:39.224 --> 00:11:45.164
So I get my poor placement and it's I got my port placed like way early.
00:11:45.424 --> 00:11:51.604
It was like, I didn't have my first chemo session for another month after I got my port placed.
00:11:54.504 --> 00:12:00.884
So the waiting was hard because I can't sleep on my side where the port is because
00:12:00.884 --> 00:12:03.304
it hurts, you know, to be honest with you.
00:12:05.164 --> 00:12:09.364
It's a really hard place. It's a really hard place. And I'm like, okay, man.
00:12:11.170 --> 00:12:15.470
What am I doing? You know, what's going on? Why is this happening to me?
00:12:16.550 --> 00:12:21.490
Um, you know, I live back over my life and I've done some crazy stuff. I lived a crazy life.
00:12:21.590 --> 00:12:24.510
I mean, I didn't do any drugs or anything like that, but you know,
00:12:24.630 --> 00:12:31.090
I smoked cigarettes for years and, you know, I got to tell you guys that if
00:12:31.090 --> 00:12:36.570
you're watching this and if you're listening to what I'm telling you, um, it's scary.
00:12:37.010 --> 00:12:42.430
It's scary for me. Um, but, um, I got a pretty good support system.
00:12:43.950 --> 00:12:48.330
Nobody's left me hanging yet, you know, so it's all good. That's why she goes
00:12:48.330 --> 00:12:49.630
to my chemo sessions with me.
00:12:49.990 --> 00:12:54.150
You know, she doesn't really have to because of obligations.
00:12:55.010 --> 00:12:58.430
Obligations aren't with me. They're with, you know, the kids and her life and
00:12:58.430 --> 00:13:01.190
everything. And that's cool, and I appreciate her for being there.
00:13:03.270 --> 00:13:08.870
And everybody else, you know, shout out to my classmates, Sarissa Borden and
00:13:08.870 --> 00:13:10.590
all those guys. Shout out to y'all.
00:13:12.130 --> 00:13:16.550
So she started, she started a, I'm not going to go fund me, but she put it in
00:13:16.550 --> 00:13:17.770
our high school class group.
00:13:17.910 --> 00:13:20.250
Hey, y'all donate to this man.
00:13:20.430 --> 00:13:22.850
He's going through a lot, da, da, da, da, da. And so everybody came through
00:13:22.850 --> 00:13:26.110
to support. So support is very important, especially when you're going through something like this.
00:13:26.710 --> 00:13:29.290
Because if you feel like you're going through this by yourself,
00:13:30.290 --> 00:13:33.570
it really gets tough and it really drains the mental.
00:13:34.350 --> 00:13:36.770
And if you're already struggling with mental, it makes it worse.
00:13:37.110 --> 00:13:40.570
And I'm that guy that I struggle with my mental sometimes.
00:13:40.690 --> 00:13:45.310
Because, you know, the loss of my wife, I mean, you know, my divorce was hard
00:13:45.310 --> 00:13:47.750
on me last year. I mean, so I still struggle with that.
00:13:48.090 --> 00:13:54.090
So it's not like it's, you know, I'm walking this thing out and I'm all good. I'm not, I'm not.
00:13:54.610 --> 00:13:59.830
And they say, and people say all the time, you know, it's okay to not, it's okay to not be okay.
00:14:02.870 --> 00:14:07.270
And that's probably the truest thing that is any, you know, anyone's ever said. Yeah.
00:14:09.556 --> 00:14:16.376
So, going into chemo, you know, having a support system in place, having, you know,
00:14:17.276 --> 00:14:21.936
different visits to the doctor, oncologists, dieticians, you know,
00:14:22.056 --> 00:14:26.796
everybody that you can possibly want to talk to in a time like that,
00:14:26.896 --> 00:14:29.536
you're going to talk to them. You're going to be in their face, you know.
00:14:33.036 --> 00:14:37.316
So, my first round of chemo, and I got to tell you, going into chemo,
00:14:37.336 --> 00:14:41.856
that season was really, really, really hard because I was really,
00:14:41.976 --> 00:14:43.336
really, really scared, right?
00:14:43.936 --> 00:14:50.996
So, you go, when you start stuff like that, you go into, I wouldn't say panic
00:14:50.996 --> 00:14:54.416
mode, but it's almost like, okay, what am I getting myself into?
00:14:56.436 --> 00:15:00.136
Because some people like they choose not to do chemo because they don't want
00:15:00.136 --> 00:15:06.196
it to change their quality of life and I said well and I almost did that I almost
00:15:06.196 --> 00:15:07.216
got to the point where I'm
00:15:07.556 --> 00:15:11.476
just I'm not gonna do chemo I'm just gonna do the rest of my life and how much
00:15:11.476 --> 00:15:16.416
time I got left right and then I was like you know what nah I'm gonna I'm gonna
00:15:16.416 --> 00:15:18.036
have to fight this a little bit Right.
00:15:18.656 --> 00:15:20.196
So I decided to do chemo.
00:15:21.456 --> 00:15:28.876
My first round of chemo wasn't as bad as everybody made it say,
00:15:29.056 --> 00:15:32.936
because, you know, if you ask 10 different people about chemo,
00:15:33.536 --> 00:15:38.836
you'll get 10 different 10 different answers because chemo affects everyone differently.
00:15:39.436 --> 00:15:43.956
Some people, they have a weak immune system. Chemo hits them,
00:15:43.976 --> 00:15:47.276
and it's just like they go downhill, right?
00:15:47.876 --> 00:15:55.636
Now, at 49, I'm not the healthiest guy on the planet, but I do, I am a little bit strong.
00:15:56.136 --> 00:16:03.656
And so my first round of chemo was, okay, this isn't as bad.
00:16:03.656 --> 00:16:13.436
So how my chemo sessions work is I get, I have an infusion, right? I'm on Florinox.
00:16:14.196 --> 00:16:19.056
So I have an infusion. I have my infusion day, which is on a Friday.
00:16:19.996 --> 00:16:25.456
I sit in an infusion chair for maybe three or four hours maybe because one medication
00:16:25.456 --> 00:16:29.056
they put, one medication that they put in me takes about 90 minutes.
00:16:29.556 --> 00:16:33.716
The other one takes about 60 or so minutes, maybe a little bit more.
00:16:34.076 --> 00:16:40.056
And they put the port into my, they put the drugs through my port.
00:16:40.316 --> 00:16:42.996
And so I sit in the infusion chair. Um.
00:16:44.115 --> 00:16:47.875
And then after I get done with my infusion, they de-access my port.
00:16:48.015 --> 00:16:49.195
No, they don't de-access it.
00:16:49.535 --> 00:16:53.715
They actually change everything over, and I wear a fanny pack that has the actual
00:16:53.715 --> 00:16:56.615
chemo drug and a big old ball.
00:16:57.075 --> 00:17:01.615
And I wear that in a fanny pack two days. So I get infused on Friday.
00:17:01.835 --> 00:17:07.395
I wear the fanny pack Saturday and Sunday, and then I get de-access through my port on Sunday.
00:17:09.055 --> 00:17:13.375
So my first round, not bad. Didn't really have any effects.
00:17:14.755 --> 00:17:18.815
I was still eating, drinking, you know, like normal.
00:17:19.715 --> 00:17:29.335
I think the worst effect that I had after my first round of chemo was sensitivity to cold.
00:17:30.935 --> 00:17:34.395
So it's a term, I think it's called neuropathy, is what it's called.
00:17:35.035 --> 00:17:37.875
And you get certain sensations in your fingers and your toes and,
00:17:37.935 --> 00:17:41.595
you know, you kind of want to keep an eye on that because if it gets too bad, they stop your chemo.
00:17:42.515 --> 00:17:47.615
Because they have to downsize your medication because you shouldn't be getting those feelings.
00:17:48.075 --> 00:17:52.115
So the first round, I did not have that. I think I had a little bit of sensitivity
00:17:52.115 --> 00:17:53.395
as I drank something cold.
00:17:53.695 --> 00:17:57.395
It felt like I was swallowing razor blades or shards of glass,
00:17:57.395 --> 00:17:58.595
which is really painful.
00:17:59.955 --> 00:18:06.015
So if you are a chemo patient, a survivor of chemo, whatever,
00:18:06.415 --> 00:18:08.455
and you wouldn't even know what I'm talking about.
00:18:09.195 --> 00:18:13.535
It feels like shards of glass you're swallowing. So I have to drink everything
00:18:13.535 --> 00:18:16.915
at room temperature. So I can have drinks.
00:18:17.115 --> 00:18:20.715
I can have water, soda, whatever. I try to lay out the soda.
00:18:22.035 --> 00:18:24.875
But no water, juice, anything like that.
00:18:25.015 --> 00:18:27.475
I can have those things, but they have to be at room temperature.
00:18:27.475 --> 00:18:30.095
I can't drink anything straight out of the refrigerator.
00:18:30.355 --> 00:18:35.035
I can't even go into the freezer and touch anything in there without gloves
00:18:35.035 --> 00:18:36.775
on because of sensitivity.
00:18:38.095 --> 00:18:43.095
So I didn't really, you know, again, I'm going through my thing and I'm like, all right.
00:18:45.799 --> 00:18:50.799
So the first round was cool. The second round was a little different.
00:18:51.659 --> 00:19:02.999
The neuropathy was way worse the second time around because the tingling was really, really bad.
00:19:03.539 --> 00:19:09.759
I had gloves, right? But when I got done with my second round of chemo,
00:19:09.939 --> 00:19:15.139
it felt like I was being cut in my fingers, right?
00:19:15.799 --> 00:19:19.899
And it was a cold day, you know, here in Missouri. That day was cold,
00:19:19.919 --> 00:19:25.259
but I couldn't even, I left the infusion and I got in my car to get ready to leave.
00:19:25.659 --> 00:19:28.439
And I couldn't even touch my steering wheel. That's how bad it was.
00:19:28.759 --> 00:19:30.379
That's why my neuropathy was concerned.
00:19:31.259 --> 00:19:34.859
And then it moved to my toes and that was really bad. So, you know,
00:19:36.339 --> 00:19:40.039
going through chemo and all of that, it was really tough.
00:19:40.139 --> 00:19:45.699
I'm really fatigued a lot. So I have to stay busy and do things and walk and
00:19:45.699 --> 00:19:46.879
exercise and all that stuff.
00:19:47.239 --> 00:19:52.399
And it was just really hard, little brother. And it's really hard for me.
00:19:54.399 --> 00:19:59.299
But I said all of that in this episode tonight to tell you this.
00:20:00.383 --> 00:20:06.483
Is to be encouraging. And I'm not just talking to the people that are watching. I'm talking to me.
00:20:06.823 --> 00:20:12.943
This encourages me as well because I do have my days where I battle with depression
00:20:12.943 --> 00:20:16.883
and I battle with my mental health. I battle with that every single day.
00:20:18.823 --> 00:20:23.483
So I'm not sitting here in front of this camera like I am just the most perfect
00:20:23.483 --> 00:20:24.543
guy on the planet because I'm not.
00:20:24.643 --> 00:20:27.383
I am absolutely not. And I struggle.
00:20:28.043 --> 00:20:32.283
But I want to walk I want to take this journey I want you guys to take this
00:20:32.283 --> 00:20:38.343
journey with me to encourage me and to also encourage you because when people,
00:20:39.803 --> 00:20:45.143
who support cancer patients and when they say you are not walking this alone they mean that,
00:20:46.383 --> 00:20:50.343
and so I want you to know I want you to look me in my eyes when I say this is
00:20:50.343 --> 00:20:56.983
that I am in this race with you I'm in that boat right along with you paddling
00:20:56.983 --> 00:20:59.203
right beside you. And we're going to get through this.
00:20:59.943 --> 00:21:03.843
And so I want to thank you guys for listening. Listen, if I said anything in
00:21:03.843 --> 00:21:08.783
this podcast episode that you enjoyed that made any sense and you want to follow
00:21:08.783 --> 00:21:13.463
along on the journey, please subscribe to the YouTube channel and the link.
00:21:14.823 --> 00:21:17.403
If you're watching me on TikTok, I appreciate you.
00:21:19.583 --> 00:21:24.883
I'm going to put this kind of like everywhere. So I want you guys to be encouraged.
00:21:24.883 --> 00:21:31.643
Remember that we are all one race the human race and when i say that i love
00:21:31.643 --> 00:21:35.563
you i don't even know you but i want to tell you that i love you and we're going
00:21:35.563 --> 00:21:36.583
to get through this together,
00:21:37.823 --> 00:21:44.323
so until the next episode you guys have a wonderful wonderful evening and i will see you next time.
00:21:52.400 --> 00:22:25.735
Music.
