Navigating Personal Growth and New Beginnings

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All right, welcome to another episode of Nugget Head Chronicles podcast.

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It is your boy, Terry. I mean, it is, hey, another day, another week.

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I've been away since I talked to you guys since last week, so I wanted to catch you guys up.

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We're going to get into a little bit of life after your divorce.

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Those of you who are listening to this, you have been divorced.

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Let's have a chat. Hang tight.

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Music.

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Welcome to another episode of the Knucklehead Chronicles podcast.

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This podcast was designed to let you know that you aren't the only one that

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took forever to get it together.

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So the rabbit hole that you have stumbled down will hopefully help you understand

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that just when you think it's over, it's only the beginning.

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Just because you were dealt a bad hand doesn't mean you have to keep it.

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Welcome to the Knucklehead Chronicles podcast.

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All right. And welcome back to another episode. Look ahead Chronicles podcast is your boy, Terry, man.

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We're going to get into a little bit of life after divorce, right?

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You know, I'm still struggling with that. I don't think that I'm fully out of

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life after the divorce. wars.

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I mean, I'm living life like trying to,

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Figure it all out, right? You know, because life changes so much,

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man, when you go through something like this.

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And it's like, you know, I remember when I first, we first split, separated.

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I actually separated and not being in the same house and how difficult it was

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for me to try to navigate the waters because I've never been,

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you know, I told you guys before, I've never been like on my own.

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So, you know, it was tough. It was tough.

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And I'm trying to navigate the waters even now, because it's not easy, you know.

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Some folks have found a lot of success navigating life after divorce.

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And I think, I mean, I think I'm getting there. I mean, I'm doing a lot of work, you know, working.

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And just doing what I need to do to survive you know

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I think in this in this in this season of my life my life after my divorce I

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think I'm getting and I'm getting off pissing my ex off you know Sam because

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she had a whole plan of how she was gonna do this and I just work in her favor,

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and you took advantage of the situation because I was in a dark place and I

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couldn't I really they couldn't make decisions because I was emotionally,

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you know, jacked out, you know.

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And so now that I've kind of woken up and I, okay, I can't let you do this to

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me. You know, I get it. You're upset.

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You know, here's the thing I understand.

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All right. I want everybody to understand this.

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There are, you know, there is not just one person in a situation to make something be over, right?

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Like, it's, you know, everything that happened with us just wasn't my fault.

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I mean, it just wasn't me. I mean, it was me, but it just wasn't me.

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I want you guys to catch that. I wasn't the only one.

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You know, there were things that, you know, she did.

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There were things that I did. And the culmination of the two is what ended the marriage.

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But however, she has decided that

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I'm the bad guy. I ain't going to tell everybody that I'm the bad guy.

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And I was the problem and all that good stuff. So if you're listening to this,

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check where you are in the situation, right?

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If you're the bad guy, you're the bad guy. You're going to be the bad guy in

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somebody's story anyway. So it don't matter. Stand on it. You know what I mean?

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Everything isn't going to be peaches and cream and it's not going to be rosy, right?

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Because people are just people and they're not going to, you know,

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they're not going to tell their bad side because it makes them look crazy to people, you know?

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It's like, I'm sure that my wife is not going to go and tell everybody,

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well, yeah, you know, I did some stuff too and, you know, and that's what it

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takes for somebody to do that they have to be honest,

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They have to be honest. Somebody has to say, yeah, I did that.

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You know, I stand on most people. Some people stand on business. Others don't.

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Because they spend their life trying to make everybody else look bad.

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You know, that's life. Things happen, right?

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And so I'm still struggling with that. You know, and then on the other end of

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it, you know, you're trying to move on. do you date?

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How long is it after your divorce do you start to take in love interest?

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I mean, the.

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Logic here is that you don't. A lot of people say, oh, don't date.

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Nobody else does. Because the old adage when you break up with somebody or you

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divorce them, and they always say, if you can't get under one no the best way

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to get over somebody is to get under somebody else,

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I know you're laughing because it still chuckles it still makes me chuckle to

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this day it just does because I used to do that when I was younger,

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that was my thing that was my go to I would break up with somebody or she broke

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up with me It's like, I'm going to go find,

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you know, the next one and get up under, you know, her or on top of,

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however you guys choose. I'm not a power bottom.

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I'm sorry. That was a bad reference. Okay. But anyhow. Yeah.

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I used to do that. I used to be that guy that was, I'm just going to go ahead and get up under.

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But what I find in my, you know, my older age, I'm a, I'm a man of a certain age now.

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Um, that don't work. And I think the reason why it doesn't work is because,

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um, I actually love the person that I was with, you know,

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and I'm not saying that people, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not saying that people don't, you know,

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I'm not saying that people don't love one another I mean but here's the thing

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and this has always been my issue this is kind of a rambling episode but here's the thing I,

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think my personal opinion is if you really love somebody while you're with them,

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you know I get the whole you know

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they say about women you know once they're done they're done she probably checked

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out months ago and she probably did right but even even in this even in that

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case if you love somebody like for real and you've been in that like for real

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you went through the struggle you went through yeah all of that,

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do you feel guilty about dating someone else soon after i have a feeling i mean

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i and everything Anything that I will say will probably be purely speculation, but...

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So I think my wife was dating someone the day she announced to me she wanted a divorce.

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You know what I'm saying? That's just, again, pure speculation.

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I say that she was, don't know.

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But there were some instances that happened after. Let me know that there was

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someone she was at least talking to. And that's one.

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She had at least two in the chamber.

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So it may not have been a full-fledged dating situation. It might have been

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a full-fledged boyfriend.

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A boyfriend and girlfriend type situation, but I can guarantee you,

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she had at least two in the chamber. And that's okay.

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Because like people say, she checked out a long time ago.

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But women, I have to ask this question.

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And if you listen to this and then you're a woman, feel free to hit me up,

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email me, hit me up on Facebook, knuckleheadchroniclespodcast,

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at gmail.com if you want to answer

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via email or if you want to hit me on Facebook. But here's my question.

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When you check out if you have checked out of your marriage or your situation

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or whatever why don't you leave why don't you leave why is it you stick around,

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and then play this charade for another year I'm,

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confused at that because that's what happened that's what I think was happening

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with me is that she checked out Now, last year, I think she checked out when

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she went to go see her dad. You know what I'm saying? I think she checked out then.

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Why put up this charade for another year? Why?

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Because, you know, she didn't try to work on anything. We didn't go to any kind

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of counseling or any kind of therapy or nothing.

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You know, I don't understand why.

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You know, why put up this charade? If you're done, leave. Fell the same way.

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No, and I'm not just getting on the ladies. Fell the same way.

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If you have checked out, if you have said, I'm done.

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You know whatever leave don't don't waste that woman's life any more than you already have leave,

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but the thing of it is me and sometimes some of us are silly gooses and we feel

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like we can just do whatever we want and you know there's no repercussions i'm

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telling you fellas that's It's repercussions behind everything that you do.

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So here I am, divorced. Enough.

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I mean, we got some stuff to work out as far as visitation and financial support and all that jazz.

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But I'm going to court for that because you're not going to rape me.

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I'm not going to let you rape me. If anybody's going to rape me,

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it will be the courts of Missouri, the courts of Boone County, Missouri.

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That's who's going to rape me. It won't be you. I can promise.

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Anyways, so here I am, you know, divorced, looking crazy.

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I guess I'm single, ready to mingle, I guess. And I'm going, I don't want to do this.

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All I do is, you know, I've done this.

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And I just am exasperated. Like, I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to date.

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I don't want to have to jump through hoops. I don't want to have to,

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you know, I just don't want to.

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So here's the the question that is left is that do you date do I date,

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do you move on and if you do how long does it take you to move on how long does

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it take you to say you know what,

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I'm going to go ahead and date shorty out I think going out on dates isn't a

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bad thing right I don't think it's,

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detrimental to your health if you take somebody else out after the divorce or

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whatever But, you know, I'm talking about full-fledged, that's my girl,

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I'm her man type situation.

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That's what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about going out on dates,

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you know, and having dinner and things like that. I'm not saying that.

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I'm saying in a full-fledged relationships, do you do that after a divorce?

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And if you do, how long does it take you?

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So that's my question I'm going to pose to my listening audience.

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Now, I'm going to answer it, you know, for me, because it's me.

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For me, I'm scared.

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I'm scared of dating someone after my divorce.

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I'm afraid of it because one thing I don't want to go through,

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one thing that I don't want to have to go through again is the rejection.

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You know what I'm saying?

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Because when I say I put my best foot forward with my ex-wife, I did. I tried to anyway.

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Did everything I was supposed to do. Yeah, I made bad choices. Nobody's perfect.

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I made bad choices. That's not justification to say, yeah, I made bad choices.

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Nobody's perfect. That's not justification. But it's just what it is.

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I made bad choices and all that. But I did everything that I think that I could have done.

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If we was in financial straits, I tried to work 16 hours, whatever,

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to make that money so we can get back on even Q.

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I did everything I could.

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Right? So yeah, I'm afraid.

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Personally, just so anyone who wants to shoot that shot at me.

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Who's ever watching this, you want to shoot that shot at me,

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just know that I'm scared.

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I'm petrified of it because I don't want the rejection.

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I know life is life and people are going to reject you. Now not everybody is

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going to accept you. Right?

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But I'm just afraid of the rejection. I'm afraid, you know, I think as a guy,

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I think I'm still chivalrous, right? I still open doors and things of that nature.

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But I don't want to always have to show that side. I don't want to be chivalrous

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all the time. I don't want to be lazy all the time.

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Life for me life for me after my divorce is like,

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I know what I'm doing but then I don't you know it's like.

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I don't want to put up I don't want to put up some kind of crazy facade that,

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I'm all you know I'm all you know I'm ironclad tough over here,

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that ain't how it is that is not what it is for me and I'm still navigating

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my life after my divorce I have friends that support me and,

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carry me and you know,

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putting budgets together for me and stuff and you know trying to make sure that

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I'm straight and letting up my feet because you know.

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All that but But on my way out, right, I want to say this.

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And I saw this post on Facebook. I thought it was tremendous, right?

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And it said, don't make any kind of, don't react to certain situations.

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Don't react. Don't move. When somebody says something stupid and you see it

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or you hear it or whatever, don't react.

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Because God saw it too. So, the battle is not yours.

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You know, that's what I got out of that. The battle is not yours.

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So, even when people have something to say, even when people,

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you know, throw dirt, drag your name, you know, whatever.

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Don't react to it. I'm learning that. That's the season that I'm in.

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Is that, that in my life after my divorce, the life after my divorce is that

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I'm in this season of learning how to let people just talk.

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You're going to say whatever you're going to say about me. I don't care.

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You know, if anybody's listening to this podcast, there are friends of hers.

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Tell her what you're going to do. You know, it's like, it's like, you know,

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Hulk Hogan back in the day. What you going to do? You know, what are you going to do?

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I mean, we both hurt, you know, we both hurt each other. That's the key there.

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If two people that are divorcing could just simply have a conversation and say,

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hey, you know, you hurt me, I hurt you.

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There were situations that I didn't like, situations that you didn't like,

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you know, and you decided to go a separate way. And that's cool.

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Let's have an amicable split. No, you want to go tell everybody I want Jack. No, it's not.

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But I'm in this season in my life after my divorce. I'm in this season where

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I just don't care anymore, you know.

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And that used to bug me. I mean, and I used to sit on here and I even took my

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Facebook private because I just didn't want to see, I just didn't want to see

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or have people's opinions about me.

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I'm going to put that bad boy up there in public today because I don't care. Because I don't care.

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My thing is, I have, you know, I have a life to live just like she does.

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You know, I don't sit here, I don't bash her.

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You know, that's the thing, right? there's a high road that we all must take at some point.

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I mean, you don't have to take, some people don't take the high road.

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Like Deion Sanders said a couple months back on a couple of years ago,

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he told Tony Romo, I want to take the high road here, Tony, but I lost the address.

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And some people lose the address to the high road. So I'm trying to take the

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high road. And sometimes it's hard.

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But in this life, after my divorce, trying to make sense of myself of my life

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trying to put it back together trying to you know be a good father to my son

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not burn myself out from work,

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it's a lot that I got going on you know emotionally you know,

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excuse me but I believe that eventually one day it's gonna all subside things are gonna be good,

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I'm gonna be able to I'm gonna be able to be able to to better manage my life after this divorce.

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Because this divorce took me, and like I said before, you guys have been listening

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before, this is my third one.

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This one though, took me for a whole loop out here.

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I ain't never experienced nothing like this. This is something different totally.

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But if you're listening to this and you are in your second season and you're

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living your life after your divorce.

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There's a few things you're going to know real quick before I head out.

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It hurts. Allow yourself to feel it. Right?

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Allow yourself to feel it. Every emotion. Allow it. But this is what I learned in my situation.

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With mine. Is that it's okay.

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To cry about it. It's okay to feel a way about it. It's okay to be angry.

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It's okay to feel all of that. It's okay.

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But what we can't do is stay there. We cannot.

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We absolutely cannot stay there because those negative vibes,

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those negative energies, those bad feelings, those ill will,

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all of that will eat away at you.

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And the funny thing about it eating away at you is that it eats away at you from the inside.

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From the inside out. It works its way to the outside.

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Because if you hate because if you're holding judgment i

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mean you're yelling grudges and you're mad and

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you know it eats away at anything positive on

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the inside and then all it's going to do is just

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work his way out and then just start looking ugly to people and people don't

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want like oh he or she way looks sick what's wrong with them you know it's okay

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to feel that way it's okay to hurt because the voices aren't the voices aren't

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you know pillowy they're not um,

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the night ice cream sundaes you know they're they hurt and um mine tore me up

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i'm still tore up don't don't let it don't get it twisted don't think that i'm

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over here healed because i ain't right but uh.

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You have to take it one day at a time. I mean, that's an episode I did a couple

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days ago, last week. One day at a time.

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You know, you love them, let them go.

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You know, they didn't want to be there in the first place, probably.

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I know mine didn't. He knows how to say that.

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Move on. Try to find a firm grip on this life.

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And move on. Love is out there. He or she is going to find you.

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I hope I find mine, you know, one day. Somebody who wants to be in my life, who wants to be there.

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We're going to get through it together. I promise. Hey, reach out to me.

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But I want to thank you guys for listening. I want you guys to follow the podcast.

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Uncle Head Chronicles Podcast podcast at podbean, I'm sorry,

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knuckleheadchroniclespodcast.podbean.com and go to the podcast website that

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I go ahead and subscribe and follow.

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You can follow this podcast across all social media platforms,

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Facebook, iHeartRadio, Spotify.

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Also, the Knucklehead Chronicles podcast panel edition will be coming back soon.

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That's a live video show So that will be on Sundays at 2.30 on Facebook and

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YouTube, wherever else I decide to put it.

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And we're collaborating with BS3 Network. I'm sure you guys have heard of that on Roku.

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So a lot of things popping. Things are looking good. I want everyone who's listening

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to this podcast to be blessed.

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Know that I love you. But man, I tell you what, God loves you more.

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You guys have a great rest of your day and I will see you next time.

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Music.