March 10, 2025
My Journey Through Cancer: Transparency, Survival, and Support
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Welcome to another episode of the Knucklehead Chronicles podcast, as Terry shares his deeply personal journey battling stage 3 pancreatic cancer. As the founder and host, Terry opens up about his experiences, from diagnosis on Christmas Eve to the whirlwind of medical procedures and chemotherapy. He emphasizes the importance of listening to one's body and the critical need for a strong support system during such challenging times.
In this episode, Terry describes his chemo regimen, the physical and emotional impacts it brings, and his determination to maintain a life beyond the diagnosis. He candidly talks about the fear and realities of living with cancer, the emotional bonds with his young son, and the invaluable support from his community. Through honesty and vulnerability, Terry offers insight into the fight for life against cancer's formidable challenges.
00:38 - Introduction to the Cancer Chronicles
02:55 - Support and Gratitude
03:18 - My Chemo Journey
09:06 - Facing the Reality of Cancer
13:02 - The Importance of Support
16:44 - Love and Life Lessons
WEBVTT
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Music.
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What's happening with you guys? Welcome to another episode of the Knucklehead
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Chronicles podcast. It is your man, Terry.
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This is episode three of the Cancer Chronicles.
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Tonight, what I want to do is to talk to you guys just a little bit.
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Again, this is about my transparency and my journey with cancer.
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Those of you that are watching and listening and don't know,
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but this is my journey. and this is part, will be part of my healing process,
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to get to the other side of the diagnosis.
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So those of you who are watching or listening and don't know what you're stoned
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upon, again, my name is Terry.
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I am the founder of the Knucklehead Chronicles podcast and I've been podcasting
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and live streaming and things since 2016.
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And I've done this thing a lot. and I've told my story, I've ruined my mouth.
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I've gone through and told people about my pitfalls and the bad choices and
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the bad mistakes that I've made.
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And if you want to relive those, those are up on Bing.
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Just about everywhere you listen to podcasts, you have a podcast,
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Google Podcast, I think it's still around and you can still listen to those
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old episodes and you can catch up.
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But just to recap for those who are first-time listeners, I was diagnosed with
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stage 3 pancreatic cancer on December 24th, Christmas Eve, we gather,
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we're keeping up on the calendar,
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which was a very trying time.
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We was going through some things at work.
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I was sick for a long time, kind of ignoring.
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If you caught episode 2, one of the clips that I said in that was, don't ignore your body.
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If... Something that's going on with your body, please go get that checked out.
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Do not ignore it. Do not try to sleep it off, as they say.
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Don't do that. Go and get yourself checked out. I did mention that in episode
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two, so if you want to check that out, you want to go and check out episode two.
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But in this one, in episode three, I want to, again, I think I did a video earlier
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today on my Facebook and TikTok and all that, and just thanking people for coming
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to my aid and being supportive and donating.
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They started GoFundMe. That is down at the bottom of the screen here.
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You want to donate to that.
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I'm not sure if that's a clickable link. You probably have to copy and paste
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it and put it into your browser and all that. But I want to thank everyone who,
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again, who has donated, who has been a part of this and helping me out in this nature.
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So what I'm going to get into tonight, though, is going to be a little different.
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I'm going to talk about a little bit about my process of going through chemo
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and what's going on with me.
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Again, it's just to be transparent and let people know what's going on.
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Because one thing that I realized in the social media, especially when you're
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broadcasting and live streaming, is that people look for transparency.
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People look for the truth in people.
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If people can spot the nonsense in you when you're telling a story,
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you will never be credible, right? So I always try to be transparent.
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And I always tell people, you know, not perfect. I made some mistakes. I made some bad choices.
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And I will always admit that. And I will always stand on that.
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But what I'm coming to you with this is some real stuff for me.
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So when I first got diagnosed back in December, when I tell you it was a whirlwind,
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I was in the hospital for about a week, about the week of Christmas.
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And I think I got out on the 30th, which is a Sunday, right before New Year's Eve.
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And it was a whirlwind. I mean, I was in there.
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Blood sugar was 600 excuse me, I'm surprised I didn't go into some kind of diabetic coma or whatever.
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Excuse me thank God that I didn't because you know, it was crazy and my Billy
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Rubin if you guys are any health folks out there that know what Billy Rubin
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is I shared a number with your liver and,
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output or what have you. And my number was really, really high.
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And that's how they figured out it was cancer because my bilirubin number was high.
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Did a CT scan the day I went into the hospital.
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Actually, how that started, I went into work that day and I was sick and I just
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didn't want to be there. I was sweating.
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See the employee health nurse, he told me I was yellow, went to the ER.
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Those of you that have caught the first two episodes already know the story,
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but this is just a recap for the first time listeners.
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And so I went to the ER and it was just a, like, again, I was sick back at 24, uh, 24.
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And I thought, Hey, you know, it's just my diabetes acting up and this and that.
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So I kind of downplayed it, went to ER to get, did a CT scan on me.
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It said, Hey, you got a mask on your pancreas.
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We're going to transfer you to, we don't have an oncologist here.
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And it goes from there. So it was really crazy because everybody's,
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I got this whole surgical team. I got this whole, oncology team who was coming
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in and seeing me because, like I said, my bilirubin number was extremely high.
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And I had some folks that come to my aid at that point and they come up and see me and stuff.
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And it was really scary. Those of you guys that know me, I have a seven-year-old
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son, Terry Jr., who is a lot of my life, Lord knows.
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And with his autism,
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he knows that there's something wrong with dad and he come
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and he came to the room and uh he hugged me and
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this and that and it was just a very heartwarming moment in
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that moment though i was scared out of
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my mind because i'm like okay this may
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be the last time i get to see my son or you know when you hear when you hear
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words like cancer and stage you know stage three or whatever you know those
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words tend to put fear in the hearts of people because you know everything every
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cancer is a death sentence But here's the thing that I realized is that we were
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born with a death sentence.
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We were born to die. We're going to leave here one way or the other,
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right? And that's the realization that I had to come to eventually.
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But it was scary. It was scary that because, you know, with him and,
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you know, the emotional ties that I have with him, it's real stuff.
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It's real stuff. And it's very emotional. I try to talk about it because it makes me emotional.
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So they go and they're talking about, you know, automatically,
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they're talking about, you know, putting in a port and doing chemo and things
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of this nature. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, everything's too fast.
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Like, I'll admit this. It took me to, it took me, and I think I still struggle
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today, you know, as far as with the diagnosis.
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But, you know, after going through three rounds of chemo, I'm pretty sure I'm
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pretty well in the knowledge of, I'm a cancer patient. Anyway,
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it took me a while to get there.
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So, I go into surgery. You know, my first thing was I had to get a stent put
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into my pancreas because my urine and things wasn't traveling like it's supposed
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to, you know, this and that.
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So, my first surgery was a stent placement into my pancreas.
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That way, so my bodily fluids can flow.
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My liver, my pancreas and all that. That was my first operation.
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My second operation was a chemo port, which, yes, those of you who are listening
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can't see it. But the ones that are watching can see it.
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You can see the scar right here in my upper jugular here. And this one right here in the middle.
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And the port is definitely right here in the middle of my chest.
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And the port is for when I go in and do blood work,
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just the needle in my port, in my chest, and they draw blood that way versus
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trying to find a vessel in my arm, which is a lot easier. It hurts. I can't lie. It hurts.
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But it only hurts about a second or two. It's not really that big of a deal.
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But so the schedule that my doctor, my oncologist has me is that I'm going to do the normal 12 rounds.
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I'm on the most aggressive form of chemo, which is the Florinox,
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which is three medications that I take when I get infused. We'll get into that in a second.
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But I'm on the most aggressive form of chemotherapy.
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So hopefully they can attack it, they can shrink it, and I can have a little
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surgery here down the road.
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So, my first round of chemo was nerve-wracking because I was so scared before, right?
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So, I go to the first round and...
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I didn't really have any effects. Let me get back. I missed a part. Let me get back.
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My schedule is 12 rounds of fluorinox, right?
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After the first six rounds, they're going to go back in.
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They're going to do another CT scan or either probably a PET scan to see if
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the chemo is taking any effect or if it's doing anything for the mass that's on my pancreas.
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If it is, then what they'll do is I'll do the other six and then they'll schedule
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me for my surgery and we'll go from there.
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If after six rounds of chemo or the most aggressive form of chemo,
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after six rounds, I'm faced with a decision.
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And after six rounds and they re-scan and it doesn't do anything,
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if the cancer hasn't spread or whatever, I'm faced with a decision at that point.
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Because if six rounds of the most aggressive form of chemo does not shrink this
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tumor, I'm faced with it.
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I'm faced with either stopping and it's just living out the rest of my life,
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or I can continue on and do what they call management chemo.
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And it just keeps the tumor from shrinking, which is something that I'm willing
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to do because if it's three days of chemo, it doesn't change really my quality of life.
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I got a little bit of neuropathy. And those of you that don't know what neuropathy
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is, that is when you get the tingles in your fingertips and in your toes and
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you have a sensitivity to cold whether you touch it or whether you drink it.
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So that's kind of where I am. so after three rounds I'm halfway to my I'm halfway to the first point,
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of my chemo chemo for me and it works like this for me just so you guys know
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probably you guys don't care but this is just for me.
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My chemo starts on Friday. I have my chemo on Fridays. I get infused on Friday.
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I go in early morning, blood draw, see the oncologist.
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They tell me whether or not my blood work is good enough to have my chemo that
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day. And then I go into infusion.
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When I go into infusion, I sit in the chair. I mean, you can't be some big old
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lazy boy with a TV remote.
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And you sit there and you take this medication. It's not, so my chemo day is
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pretty long because my blood work is at 9 a.m.
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I'm usually out of the hospital or out of the infusion chair and gone by three.
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So it's a pretty long day.
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So I get the two drugs. Then I get, after I get infused, I wear a fanny pack for two days.
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Those two days that I got this fanny pack on is the worst days because I'm nausea, fatigued.
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I'm just like, I don't want to do anything on those days that I have my fanny
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pack on because the fanny pack has the third drug in it.
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I'm thinking it's the four knots, but I don't want to guess.
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But at any rate, I wear that fanny pack Friday, Saturday, and then I get the
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access from my port on Sunday.
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But those two days are just rough. And then the week after I get the fanny pack
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off, it's rough because I'm coming down.
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It's like being high and then coming down from high.
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But once I get past the week, then everything goes to normal.
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The nausea goes away. The nirabiti goes away.
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But then by the time all that goes away, I'm right back into my chemo week.
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And then I'm getting interviewed again.
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So that's rough. That's rough.
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But I try to keep a positive outlook on it. I try to not get too down in the
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dumps because I have enough to deal with mental health-wise on the other side of it.
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Another thing that I want to talk to you about tonight, and that's my chemo thing.
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And going along with that is when you, it's very important that you have,
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like I said in my video earlier,
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it's very important to have a support and a tribe and people that you can trust
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and people who want to be there to help you.
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There are times where, you know, you have people and they're there in your life.
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And then next thing you know, they're gone.
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And you're like, okay, what happened? It was like, we were here one minute.
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And then the next minute, it's over and done with.
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And it happens. And, you know, just for the record, I don't hold any ill will toward people.
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And it's just, you know, it's life.
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People have their own life struggles.
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But I will implore people that if you decide that you're going to drop what
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you're doing and to help someone else, make sure that you're there for them.
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And no other reason but to be supportive and to be there for them.
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Because like I posted on my Facebook a couple days ago, I refuse to be anybody's burden.
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If I feel like I'm a burden to you, if I feel like I'm an inconvenience,
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I don't need it because I'm already fighting for my life.
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And fighting for my life doesn't consist of fighting for your support.
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I mean, if you want to do that, great.
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I'm not for it, right? I'm not here for it. I got enough things to deal with.
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I have a life on the other side of this diagnosis. is I have a life on the other
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side of this healing. I don't have time.
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And again, it was just a realization that I had to come to. That realization
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was hard to come to because there are emotional ties to it, right?
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You just, you know, it's not like flipping a switch.
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You know, if you feel a way, it just doesn't go away, right?
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It's just life.
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But it took me a while to get to the realization.
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And now, you know, I'm walking this thing out. Now, I'm not going to say on
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my own because there's a lot of people that support me, social media people,
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as co-workers, things of this nature, and my roommate, everybody,
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they are very, very supportive.
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But at the same time, I understand that he's supposed to have lives and I'm
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not going to be an inconvenience to them or a burden to them.
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You know what I'm saying?
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So it's very important. So if you're someone who wants to support,
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support and be that and stand on it.
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Let that be the hill you die on if you want to be supportive.
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But if you're in it, if you're anything other than that, don't do it.
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It's a waste and you hurt people.
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And I will say this and I will admit this to people that I've been hurt and it's not a good feeling.
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You know thing but you know we
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have to press forward because at the end of the day I have a life to live.
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Even though I'm faced with this health this major health issue I have a life
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to live so you know that's just what that is so make sure you guys that you know,
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love people because nothing is guaranteed in this life. It really isn't.
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We think it is. We want it to be.
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But at the end of the day, though, is that we all want to be loved and we all
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want to be cherished and we all want to be supported and all that good stuff.
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I got to tell you, sometimes it's hard for people to do that because it just is.
00:17:04.811 --> 00:17:11.611
You know it's hard for me to go and go and to go fund me and ask people that
00:17:11.611 --> 00:17:16.311
don't know me money but the realness of it is I ain't got,
00:17:16.891 --> 00:17:21.411
you know what I'm saying I ain't got it and there and I still have obligations you know,
00:17:21.911 --> 00:17:27.771
and I pray that there are people who and I see people's go fund me all the time
00:17:27.771 --> 00:17:31.591
and they're into the thousands and all that good stuff and I'm like Lord I need
00:17:31.591 --> 00:17:35.231
that in my life because I got I got something I got to do.
00:17:36.011 --> 00:17:40.231
But I will say this in closing, is that no matter what I'm faced with,
00:17:40.831 --> 00:17:44.071
no matter what anyone has done to me, no matter what I have done to them,
00:17:44.751 --> 00:17:47.771
I love people. I love people wholehearted.
00:17:48.731 --> 00:17:52.271
I've made some bad choices, yes. I've made bad mistakes, yes.
00:17:53.191 --> 00:17:59.391
But I am not. I refuse to let those bad choices, those bad decisions that I've
00:17:59.391 --> 00:18:02.411
ever made, dictate how people treat me.
00:18:02.991 --> 00:18:07.371
I've always been a firm believer is that you teach people how they treat you
00:18:07.371 --> 00:18:10.011
I've always been a firm believer in that and you've heard I've said it a thousand
00:18:10.011 --> 00:18:12.191
times to people and on my live streams
00:18:12.191 --> 00:18:15.771
and podcasts and all that you teach people how they treat you and so,
00:18:16.471 --> 00:18:21.571
sometimes it's just best to do it by your lonesome if you have to you know what
00:18:21.571 --> 00:18:24.211
I mean but and that's kind of what it is.
00:18:25.431 --> 00:18:29.531
So I want to thank you guys for listening to this episode of the Knucklehead
00:18:29.531 --> 00:18:33.131
Chronicles podcast The Cancer Chronicles this is episode 3 I'm your man, Terry.
00:18:33.631 --> 00:18:37.451
Again, you can follow me at knuckleheadchroniclespodcast.pybean.com.
00:18:37.671 --> 00:18:39.871
You can go to YouTube and check out the YouTube channel.
00:18:40.031 --> 00:18:43.851
I have a couple of reels and shorts on there. The video is definitely on YouTube.
00:18:44.951 --> 00:18:48.151
You can follow me on Facebook. You can donate to the GoFundMe.
00:18:48.231 --> 00:18:49.411
That's going to be in the link.
00:18:50.351 --> 00:18:54.851
You guys are awesome. If you have any new subscribers, new followers, thank you.
00:18:55.951 --> 00:19:00.891
Keep listening. Episode four will be in the next couple of days. Just hang tight.
00:19:01.131 --> 00:19:04.191
I love you guys. and we will see you on the.
00:19:04.080 --> 00:19:37.827
Music.
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:31.120
Music.
00:00:32.402 --> 00:00:35.642
What's happening with you guys? Welcome to another episode of the Knucklehead
00:00:35.642 --> 00:00:37.982
Chronicles podcast. It is your man, Terry.
00:00:38.502 --> 00:00:41.022
This is episode three of the Cancer Chronicles.
00:00:42.222 --> 00:00:46.302
Tonight, what I want to do is to talk to you guys just a little bit.
00:00:47.682 --> 00:00:53.922
Again, this is about my transparency and my journey with cancer.
00:00:54.082 --> 00:00:57.502
Those of you that are watching and listening and don't know,
00:00:57.682 --> 00:01:04.862
but this is my journey. and this is part, will be part of my healing process,
00:01:05.542 --> 00:01:08.142
to get to the other side of the diagnosis.
00:01:09.142 --> 00:01:14.562
So those of you who are watching or listening and don't know what you're stoned
00:01:14.562 --> 00:01:17.102
upon, again, my name is Terry.
00:01:17.482 --> 00:01:23.302
I am the founder of the Knucklehead Chronicles podcast and I've been podcasting
00:01:23.302 --> 00:01:25.802
and live streaming and things since 2016.
00:01:27.242 --> 00:01:32.702
And I've done this thing a lot. and I've told my story, I've ruined my mouth.
00:01:33.362 --> 00:01:38.082
I've gone through and told people about my pitfalls and the bad choices and
00:01:38.082 --> 00:01:39.142
the bad mistakes that I've made.
00:01:39.382 --> 00:01:45.342
And if you want to relive those, those are up on Bing.
00:01:46.242 --> 00:01:49.062
Just about everywhere you listen to podcasts, you have a podcast,
00:01:49.642 --> 00:01:53.982
Google Podcast, I think it's still around and you can still listen to those
00:01:53.982 --> 00:01:55.602
old episodes and you can catch up.
00:01:56.622 --> 00:02:02.342
But just to recap for those who are first-time listeners, I was diagnosed with
00:02:02.342 --> 00:02:07.282
stage 3 pancreatic cancer on December 24th, Christmas Eve, we gather,
00:02:07.622 --> 00:02:08.942
we're keeping up on the calendar,
00:02:09.482 --> 00:02:11.802
which was a very trying time.
00:02:12.402 --> 00:02:14.282
We was going through some things at work.
00:02:15.102 --> 00:02:18.122
I was sick for a long time, kind of ignoring.
00:02:18.442 --> 00:02:23.682
If you caught episode 2, one of the clips that I said in that was, don't ignore your body.
00:02:24.822 --> 00:02:28.082
If... Something that's going on with your body, please go get that checked out.
00:02:28.262 --> 00:02:33.422
Do not ignore it. Do not try to sleep it off, as they say.
00:02:33.902 --> 00:02:37.482
Don't do that. Go and get yourself checked out. I did mention that in episode
00:02:37.482 --> 00:02:40.742
two, so if you want to check that out, you want to go and check out episode two.
00:02:42.043 --> 00:02:48.283
But in this one, in episode three, I want to, again, I think I did a video earlier
00:02:48.283 --> 00:02:53.283
today on my Facebook and TikTok and all that, and just thanking people for coming
00:02:53.283 --> 00:02:55.763
to my aid and being supportive and donating.
00:02:55.943 --> 00:02:59.843
They started GoFundMe. That is down at the bottom of the screen here.
00:02:59.983 --> 00:03:01.343
You want to donate to that.
00:03:02.583 --> 00:03:05.563
I'm not sure if that's a clickable link. You probably have to copy and paste
00:03:05.563 --> 00:03:09.423
it and put it into your browser and all that. But I want to thank everyone who,
00:03:09.663 --> 00:03:15.423
again, who has donated, who has been a part of this and helping me out in this nature.
00:03:15.583 --> 00:03:18.383
So what I'm going to get into tonight, though, is going to be a little different.
00:03:18.583 --> 00:03:24.223
I'm going to talk about a little bit about my process of going through chemo
00:03:24.223 --> 00:03:25.163
and what's going on with me.
00:03:25.443 --> 00:03:30.363
Again, it's just to be transparent and let people know what's going on.
00:03:30.363 --> 00:03:34.203
Because one thing that I realized in the social media, especially when you're
00:03:34.203 --> 00:03:37.803
broadcasting and live streaming, is that people look for transparency.
00:03:37.803 --> 00:03:39.743
People look for the truth in people.
00:03:39.903 --> 00:03:44.583
If people can spot the nonsense in you when you're telling a story,
00:03:44.803 --> 00:03:48.303
you will never be credible, right? So I always try to be transparent.
00:03:48.483 --> 00:03:53.283
And I always tell people, you know, not perfect. I made some mistakes. I made some bad choices.
00:03:53.503 --> 00:03:56.583
And I will always admit that. And I will always stand on that.
00:03:57.443 --> 00:04:02.243
But what I'm coming to you with this is some real stuff for me.
00:04:04.503 --> 00:04:09.683
So when I first got diagnosed back in December, when I tell you it was a whirlwind,
00:04:09.943 --> 00:04:13.243
I was in the hospital for about a week, about the week of Christmas.
00:04:13.743 --> 00:04:18.783
And I think I got out on the 30th, which is a Sunday, right before New Year's Eve.
00:04:19.703 --> 00:04:22.783
And it was a whirlwind. I mean, I was in there.
00:04:23.383 --> 00:04:29.063
Blood sugar was 600 excuse me, I'm surprised I didn't go into some kind of diabetic coma or whatever.
00:04:30.463 --> 00:04:36.883
Excuse me thank God that I didn't because you know, it was crazy and my Billy
00:04:36.883 --> 00:04:40.943
Rubin if you guys are any health folks out there that know what Billy Rubin
00:04:40.943 --> 00:04:43.583
is I shared a number with your liver and,
00:04:44.249 --> 00:04:47.989
output or what have you. And my number was really, really high.
00:04:48.149 --> 00:04:51.809
And that's how they figured out it was cancer because my bilirubin number was high.
00:04:52.069 --> 00:04:54.509
Did a CT scan the day I went into the hospital.
00:04:54.969 --> 00:05:00.629
Actually, how that started, I went into work that day and I was sick and I just
00:05:00.629 --> 00:05:01.929
didn't want to be there. I was sweating.
00:05:02.889 --> 00:05:07.929
See the employee health nurse, he told me I was yellow, went to the ER.
00:05:08.329 --> 00:05:11.549
Those of you that have caught the first two episodes already know the story,
00:05:11.689 --> 00:05:14.309
but this is just a recap for the first time listeners.
00:05:15.049 --> 00:05:20.189
And so I went to the ER and it was just a, like, again, I was sick back at 24, uh, 24.
00:05:20.709 --> 00:05:23.869
And I thought, Hey, you know, it's just my diabetes acting up and this and that.
00:05:25.029 --> 00:05:29.069
So I kind of downplayed it, went to ER to get, did a CT scan on me.
00:05:29.209 --> 00:05:30.749
It said, Hey, you got a mask on your pancreas.
00:05:31.229 --> 00:05:33.529
We're going to transfer you to, we don't have an oncologist here.
00:05:34.309 --> 00:05:39.889
And it goes from there. So it was really crazy because everybody's,
00:05:39.989 --> 00:05:44.309
I got this whole surgical team. I got this whole, oncology team who was coming
00:05:44.309 --> 00:05:48.269
in and seeing me because, like I said, my bilirubin number was extremely high.
00:05:48.869 --> 00:05:54.389
And I had some folks that come to my aid at that point and they come up and see me and stuff.
00:05:55.389 --> 00:06:01.509
And it was really scary. Those of you guys that know me, I have a seven-year-old
00:06:01.509 --> 00:06:05.789
son, Terry Jr., who is a lot of my life, Lord knows.
00:06:06.089 --> 00:06:09.009
And with his autism,
00:06:09.209 --> 00:06:12.149
he knows that there's something wrong with dad and he come
00:06:12.149 --> 00:06:15.009
and he came to the room and uh he hugged me and
00:06:15.009 --> 00:06:18.229
this and that and it was just a very heartwarming moment in
00:06:18.229 --> 00:06:20.929
that moment though i was scared out of
00:06:20.929 --> 00:06:23.889
my mind because i'm like okay this may
00:06:23.889 --> 00:06:27.069
be the last time i get to see my son or you know when you hear when you hear
00:06:27.069 --> 00:06:33.469
words like cancer and stage you know stage three or whatever you know those
00:06:33.469 --> 00:06:37.729
words tend to put fear in the hearts of people because you know everything every
00:06:37.729 --> 00:06:42.729
cancer is a death sentence But here's the thing that I realized is that we were
00:06:42.729 --> 00:06:43.869
born with a death sentence.
00:06:44.129 --> 00:06:46.889
We were born to die. We're going to leave here one way or the other,
00:06:47.009 --> 00:06:51.029
right? And that's the realization that I had to come to eventually.
00:06:51.809 --> 00:06:55.949
But it was scary. It was scary that because, you know, with him and,
00:06:56.209 --> 00:07:00.989
you know, the emotional ties that I have with him, it's real stuff.
00:07:01.189 --> 00:07:05.229
It's real stuff. And it's very emotional. I try to talk about it because it makes me emotional.
00:07:08.129 --> 00:07:11.349
So they go and they're talking about, you know, automatically,
00:07:11.389 --> 00:07:16.609
they're talking about, you know, putting in a port and doing chemo and things
00:07:16.609 --> 00:07:19.049
of this nature. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, everything's too fast.
00:07:19.349 --> 00:07:26.669
Like, I'll admit this. It took me to, it took me, and I think I still struggle
00:07:26.669 --> 00:07:28.629
today, you know, as far as with the diagnosis.
00:07:28.869 --> 00:07:32.209
But, you know, after going through three rounds of chemo, I'm pretty sure I'm
00:07:32.209 --> 00:07:35.309
pretty well in the knowledge of, I'm a cancer patient. Anyway,
00:07:35.529 --> 00:07:36.449
it took me a while to get there.
00:07:37.597 --> 00:07:43.497
So, I go into surgery. You know, my first thing was I had to get a stent put
00:07:43.497 --> 00:07:49.017
into my pancreas because my urine and things wasn't traveling like it's supposed
00:07:49.017 --> 00:07:50.937
to, you know, this and that.
00:07:51.057 --> 00:07:56.057
So, my first surgery was a stent placement into my pancreas.
00:07:56.157 --> 00:07:57.657
That way, so my bodily fluids can flow.
00:07:57.957 --> 00:08:00.617
My liver, my pancreas and all that. That was my first operation.
00:08:00.957 --> 00:08:06.157
My second operation was a chemo port, which, yes, those of you who are listening
00:08:06.157 --> 00:08:08.977
can't see it. But the ones that are watching can see it.
00:08:09.097 --> 00:08:14.537
You can see the scar right here in my upper jugular here. And this one right here in the middle.
00:08:14.837 --> 00:08:16.977
And the port is definitely right here in the middle of my chest.
00:08:17.077 --> 00:08:20.537
And the port is for when I go in and do blood work,
00:08:21.317 --> 00:08:25.697
just the needle in my port, in my chest, and they draw blood that way versus
00:08:25.697 --> 00:08:32.277
trying to find a vessel in my arm, which is a lot easier. It hurts. I can't lie. It hurts.
00:08:32.737 --> 00:08:35.857
But it only hurts about a second or two. It's not really that big of a deal.
00:08:37.557 --> 00:08:46.617
But so the schedule that my doctor, my oncologist has me is that I'm going to do the normal 12 rounds.
00:08:46.797 --> 00:08:50.617
I'm on the most aggressive form of chemo, which is the Florinox,
00:08:50.797 --> 00:08:55.357
which is three medications that I take when I get infused. We'll get into that in a second.
00:08:55.717 --> 00:08:58.577
But I'm on the most aggressive form of chemotherapy.
00:08:59.317 --> 00:09:02.477
So hopefully they can attack it, they can shrink it, and I can have a little
00:09:02.477 --> 00:09:04.497
surgery here down the road.
00:09:06.157 --> 00:09:14.677
So, my first round of chemo was nerve-wracking because I was so scared before, right?
00:09:15.477 --> 00:09:18.537
So, I go to the first round and...
00:09:20.268 --> 00:09:25.308
I didn't really have any effects. Let me get back. I missed a part. Let me get back.
00:09:26.688 --> 00:09:29.748
My schedule is 12 rounds of fluorinox, right?
00:09:31.008 --> 00:09:34.488
After the first six rounds, they're going to go back in.
00:09:34.608 --> 00:09:39.508
They're going to do another CT scan or either probably a PET scan to see if
00:09:39.508 --> 00:09:44.548
the chemo is taking any effect or if it's doing anything for the mass that's on my pancreas.
00:09:45.228 --> 00:09:49.308
If it is, then what they'll do is I'll do the other six and then they'll schedule
00:09:49.308 --> 00:09:52.648
me for my surgery and we'll go from there.
00:09:54.528 --> 00:10:00.208
If after six rounds of chemo or the most aggressive form of chemo,
00:10:00.368 --> 00:10:03.308
after six rounds, I'm faced with a decision.
00:10:03.928 --> 00:10:07.588
And after six rounds and they re-scan and it doesn't do anything,
00:10:08.128 --> 00:10:13.868
if the cancer hasn't spread or whatever, I'm faced with a decision at that point.
00:10:13.868 --> 00:10:19.568
Because if six rounds of the most aggressive form of chemo does not shrink this
00:10:19.568 --> 00:10:21.548
tumor, I'm faced with it.
00:10:21.748 --> 00:10:29.288
I'm faced with either stopping and it's just living out the rest of my life,
00:10:29.288 --> 00:10:36.388
or I can continue on and do what they call management chemo.
00:10:36.388 --> 00:10:41.988
And it just keeps the tumor from shrinking, which is something that I'm willing
00:10:41.988 --> 00:10:50.048
to do because if it's three days of chemo, it doesn't change really my quality of life.
00:10:50.608 --> 00:10:54.348
I got a little bit of neuropathy. And those of you that don't know what neuropathy
00:10:54.348 --> 00:10:59.268
is, that is when you get the tingles in your fingertips and in your toes and
00:10:59.268 --> 00:11:02.768
you have a sensitivity to cold whether you touch it or whether you drink it.
00:11:03.648 --> 00:11:09.048
So that's kind of where I am. so after three rounds I'm halfway to my I'm halfway to the first point,
00:11:10.348 --> 00:11:16.148
of my chemo chemo for me and it works like this for me just so you guys know
00:11:16.548 --> 00:11:19.648
probably you guys don't care but this is just for me.
00:11:21.591 --> 00:11:26.471
My chemo starts on Friday. I have my chemo on Fridays. I get infused on Friday.
00:11:26.791 --> 00:11:30.091
I go in early morning, blood draw, see the oncologist.
00:11:30.371 --> 00:11:34.991
They tell me whether or not my blood work is good enough to have my chemo that
00:11:34.991 --> 00:11:37.431
day. And then I go into infusion.
00:11:38.171 --> 00:11:42.531
When I go into infusion, I sit in the chair. I mean, you can't be some big old
00:11:42.531 --> 00:11:44.431
lazy boy with a TV remote.
00:11:45.351 --> 00:11:51.231
And you sit there and you take this medication. It's not, so my chemo day is
00:11:51.231 --> 00:11:55.451
pretty long because my blood work is at 9 a.m.
00:11:55.591 --> 00:11:58.831
I'm usually out of the hospital or out of the infusion chair and gone by three.
00:11:59.351 --> 00:12:00.431
So it's a pretty long day.
00:12:01.971 --> 00:12:09.471
So I get the two drugs. Then I get, after I get infused, I wear a fanny pack for two days.
00:12:09.671 --> 00:12:14.951
Those two days that I got this fanny pack on is the worst days because I'm nausea, fatigued.
00:12:15.111 --> 00:12:19.291
I'm just like, I don't want to do anything on those days that I have my fanny
00:12:19.291 --> 00:12:23.111
pack on because the fanny pack has the third drug in it.
00:12:23.311 --> 00:12:25.791
I'm thinking it's the four knots, but I don't want to guess.
00:12:26.551 --> 00:12:33.931
But at any rate, I wear that fanny pack Friday, Saturday, and then I get the
00:12:33.931 --> 00:12:35.811
access from my port on Sunday.
00:12:36.471 --> 00:12:40.691
But those two days are just rough. And then the week after I get the fanny pack
00:12:40.691 --> 00:12:43.451
off, it's rough because I'm coming down.
00:12:43.611 --> 00:12:46.151
It's like being high and then coming down from high.
00:12:47.311 --> 00:12:50.911
But once I get past the week, then everything goes to normal.
00:12:51.171 --> 00:12:53.331
The nausea goes away. The nirabiti goes away.
00:12:53.691 --> 00:12:57.571
But then by the time all that goes away, I'm right back into my chemo week.
00:12:57.591 --> 00:12:59.211
And then I'm getting interviewed again.
00:12:59.651 --> 00:13:01.811
So that's rough. That's rough.
00:13:02.631 --> 00:13:08.111
But I try to keep a positive outlook on it. I try to not get too down in the
00:13:08.111 --> 00:13:13.591
dumps because I have enough to deal with mental health-wise on the other side of it.
00:13:14.671 --> 00:13:19.391
Another thing that I want to talk to you about tonight, and that's my chemo thing.
00:13:19.391 --> 00:13:27.531
And going along with that is when you, it's very important that you have,
00:13:27.731 --> 00:13:30.071
like I said in my video earlier,
00:13:30.351 --> 00:13:36.091
it's very important to have a support and a tribe and people that you can trust
00:13:36.091 --> 00:13:38.631
and people who want to be there to help you.
00:13:39.542 --> 00:13:45.822
There are times where, you know, you have people and they're there in your life.
00:13:45.942 --> 00:13:47.982
And then next thing you know, they're gone.
00:13:48.622 --> 00:13:54.102
And you're like, okay, what happened? It was like, we were here one minute.
00:13:54.282 --> 00:13:56.662
And then the next minute, it's over and done with.
00:13:57.302 --> 00:14:03.002
And it happens. And, you know, just for the record, I don't hold any ill will toward people.
00:14:03.182 --> 00:14:06.322
And it's just, you know, it's life.
00:14:06.522 --> 00:14:08.842
People have their own life struggles.
00:14:09.702 --> 00:14:18.062
But I will implore people that if you decide that you're going to drop what
00:14:18.062 --> 00:14:24.182
you're doing and to help someone else, make sure that you're there for them.
00:14:24.622 --> 00:14:29.382
And no other reason but to be supportive and to be there for them.
00:14:30.042 --> 00:14:35.322
Because like I posted on my Facebook a couple days ago, I refuse to be anybody's burden.
00:14:35.322 --> 00:14:42.102
If I feel like I'm a burden to you, if I feel like I'm an inconvenience,
00:14:42.202 --> 00:14:46.882
I don't need it because I'm already fighting for my life.
00:14:47.982 --> 00:14:53.622
And fighting for my life doesn't consist of fighting for your support.
00:14:53.742 --> 00:14:56.462
I mean, if you want to do that, great.
00:14:57.022 --> 00:15:01.162
I'm not for it, right? I'm not here for it. I got enough things to deal with.
00:15:01.402 --> 00:15:04.802
I have a life on the other side of this diagnosis. is I have a life on the other
00:15:04.802 --> 00:15:06.522
side of this healing. I don't have time.
00:15:07.922 --> 00:15:11.862
And again, it was just a realization that I had to come to. That realization
00:15:11.862 --> 00:15:15.442
was hard to come to because there are emotional ties to it, right?
00:15:15.862 --> 00:15:19.962
You just, you know, it's not like flipping a switch.
00:15:20.522 --> 00:15:26.862
You know, if you feel a way, it just doesn't go away, right?
00:15:27.002 --> 00:15:28.982
It's just life.
00:15:29.142 --> 00:15:31.002
But it took me a while to get to the realization.
00:15:31.262 --> 00:15:34.282
And now, you know, I'm walking this thing out. Now, I'm not going to say on
00:15:34.282 --> 00:15:39.042
my own because there's a lot of people that support me, social media people,
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as co-workers, things of this nature, and my roommate, everybody,
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they are very, very supportive.
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But at the same time, I understand that he's supposed to have lives and I'm
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not going to be an inconvenience to them or a burden to them.
00:15:54.582 --> 00:15:55.042
You know what I'm saying?
00:15:55.522 --> 00:16:00.222
So it's very important. So if you're someone who wants to support,
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support and be that and stand on it.
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Let that be the hill you die on if you want to be supportive.
00:16:06.902 --> 00:16:10.082
But if you're in it, if you're anything other than that, don't do it.
00:16:10.182 --> 00:16:11.762
It's a waste and you hurt people.
00:16:12.182 --> 00:16:19.702
And I will say this and I will admit this to people that I've been hurt and it's not a good feeling.
00:16:19.702 --> 00:16:22.422
You know thing but you know we
00:16:22.422 --> 00:16:27.222
have to press forward because at the end of the day I have a life to live.
00:16:28.362 --> 00:16:32.202
Even though I'm faced with this health this major health issue I have a life
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to live so you know that's just what that is so make sure you guys that you know,
00:16:39.731 --> 00:16:44.571
love people because nothing is guaranteed in this life. It really isn't.
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We think it is. We want it to be.
00:16:47.211 --> 00:16:53.351
But at the end of the day, though, is that we all want to be loved and we all
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want to be cherished and we all want to be supported and all that good stuff.
00:16:58.031 --> 00:17:04.811
I got to tell you, sometimes it's hard for people to do that because it just is.
00:17:04.811 --> 00:17:11.611
You know it's hard for me to go and go and to go fund me and ask people that
00:17:11.611 --> 00:17:16.311
don't know me money but the realness of it is I ain't got,
00:17:16.891 --> 00:17:21.411
you know what I'm saying I ain't got it and there and I still have obligations you know,
00:17:21.911 --> 00:17:27.771
and I pray that there are people who and I see people's go fund me all the time
00:17:27.771 --> 00:17:31.591
and they're into the thousands and all that good stuff and I'm like Lord I need
00:17:31.591 --> 00:17:35.231
that in my life because I got I got something I got to do.
00:17:36.011 --> 00:17:40.231
But I will say this in closing, is that no matter what I'm faced with,
00:17:40.831 --> 00:17:44.071
no matter what anyone has done to me, no matter what I have done to them,
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I love people. I love people wholehearted.
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I've made some bad choices, yes. I've made bad mistakes, yes.
00:17:53.191 --> 00:17:59.391
But I am not. I refuse to let those bad choices, those bad decisions that I've
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ever made, dictate how people treat me.
00:18:02.991 --> 00:18:07.371
I've always been a firm believer is that you teach people how they treat you
00:18:07.371 --> 00:18:10.011
I've always been a firm believer in that and you've heard I've said it a thousand
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times to people and on my live streams
00:18:12.191 --> 00:18:15.771
and podcasts and all that you teach people how they treat you and so,
00:18:16.471 --> 00:18:21.571
sometimes it's just best to do it by your lonesome if you have to you know what
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I mean but and that's kind of what it is.
00:18:25.431 --> 00:18:29.531
So I want to thank you guys for listening to this episode of the Knucklehead
00:18:29.531 --> 00:18:33.131
Chronicles podcast The Cancer Chronicles this is episode 3 I'm your man, Terry.
00:18:33.631 --> 00:18:37.451
Again, you can follow me at knuckleheadchroniclespodcast.pybean.com.
00:18:37.671 --> 00:18:39.871
You can go to YouTube and check out the YouTube channel.
00:18:40.031 --> 00:18:43.851
I have a couple of reels and shorts on there. The video is definitely on YouTube.
00:18:44.951 --> 00:18:48.151
You can follow me on Facebook. You can donate to the GoFundMe.
00:18:48.231 --> 00:18:49.411
That's going to be in the link.
00:18:50.351 --> 00:18:54.851
You guys are awesome. If you have any new subscribers, new followers, thank you.
00:18:55.951 --> 00:19:00.891
Keep listening. Episode four will be in the next couple of days. Just hang tight.
00:19:01.131 --> 00:19:04.191
I love you guys. and we will see you on the.
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Music.
