"Knucklehead Chronicles: Journey Through the Stages of Grief">

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All right, you guys, welcome to another episode of Knucklehead Chronicles podcast.

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It is your boy again, it's Terry.

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Happy Friday to all you guys that are listening.

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I have a very interesting topic today. And if you guys have been following this

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podcast for the short time that I've been, I've returned,

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you realize that I've gone through a lot of grief during my current situation,

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all that. So we're going to get into that.

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I'll be right back.

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Music.

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All right, and welcome back, you guys, to another episode of the Knucklehead Chronicles podcast.

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Again, it's your boy, Terry. I'm just trying to live this life one day at a

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time, like I'm always talking about. Some days are better than others.

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It's definitely, today was definitely an eye-opening day.

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And so today, the topic of this podcast episode is going to be just accept it.

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Simply just accept it. Now, you know, I struggle with acceptance.

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You know, on certain situations that I have no control over.

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And I wonder why we as a people always have or why we really have that particular issue with acceptance.

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Like when we accept when a loved one passes away, we accept job promotion,

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we accept rejection at job.

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We have to accept certain things. And I'm, you know, in that stage of grief

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to where I have to learn how to accept the end of my last situation.

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Now, what I realized is that, well, I didn't realize, I think I've heard over

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a thousand times over my lifetime that there are different stages of grief.

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There are actually five stages of grief that we go through.

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And one is the denial stage it's the first one i think i went through that at

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the at the first beginning when she first told me that she wanted out i i was

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in denial like and it really bugged me.

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Because i think denial comes from the fact that we don't we can't control the

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end of the situation you know and so we as men we get to that place where you

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know that ain't true she don't she she She wants me. She's not going anywhere.

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What are you talking about?

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And so a lot of men get stuck in that denial stage.

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And that's when you get the crazy ex-husbands and crazy boyfriend,

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ex-baby daddies and all that jazz.

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Because we don't control it, it's easier for us to deny it and be like,

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it's not, that's not true. It's just some talk, she talk.

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The second stage of grief that I realized that is true fact is anger.

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And I think, you know, for me, I don't think I, I didn't go through the anger

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stage. I think, well, maybe I did.

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And I didn't, I didn't really realize that it was anger, you know,

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until I got into therapy. And my therapist told me, she says,

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you know, you do have the anger.

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It's like she gave me a demonstration of like, she gave me a picture of an iceberg

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and how on the surface it looks like anger.

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But under the iceberg, because you know how icebergs work, they're bigger under the bottom.

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And under the bottom of the iceberg, you had all the different feelings of failure,

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self-worth, self-worth, low self-esteem, you know, all kinds of negative things under the iceberg.

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But all of that shows is anger. And I think that's what I definitely went through

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because I was definitely, I did get angry, but I just never,

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I never spouted my anger.

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A lot of anger, a lot of guys deal with anger in different ways.

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They're petty. I'm one of those, I used to be one of the petty guys.

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I think I still am, but just not in this situation.

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And, you know, they show different things. They show, you know, the crazy aggression.

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They show, you know, they get into that, you know, if I can't have you,

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nobody can type situation.

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And that's the anger showing.

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And then, you know, you leave the anger portion of it and then you get into bargaining.

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That's the third one. bargaining.

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Now you're trying to make it make sense in your head because sometimes you feel

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like the math isn't always mathing, right?

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And you figure, okay, if I do this, let's do this.

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If I accept this particular circumstance in the situation, then you would accept this.

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And so I went through, I don't think I ever hit that bargaining stage.

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Maybe I did. I think I I think I skipped a couple of steps and put bargaining before denial.

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But, you know, it still happens. It's still one of those seven,

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one of the five stages of grief.

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And I wanted to make things work. And I just, you know, I did this.

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You know, I accepted terms of certain agreements that just didn't make any mathematical sense.

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And just because I wanted to just, you know, bargain with her and make it make sense. sense.

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And then the stage that hit me the worst was depression.

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That's the fourth one. I was severely depressed. I think I even have days now

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to where I suffer from depression.

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I try to do things to keep my focus elsewhere from the depression.

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I do stuff at work. I do this podcast. I do a lot of things to put my focus somewhere else.

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And depression is one of those things that a lot of people get stuck in.

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And depression will take you out of here if you're not careful.

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It'll do anything about it if you don't

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get medication, if you don't see a therapist, if you don't, you know.

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And some people get stuck in that. and they stay stuck in it because they have

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a stigma of reaching out for help and getting therapy, talking to somebody because

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they feel like it's a sign of weakness.

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If I talk to you about what's going on with me, then I'm showing,

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I'm letting down the guard and letting you in.

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And, you know, I don't know what you're thinking of me. Are you judging me because

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of what I'm going through? Are you judging me because of my circumstances or what have you?

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And that is There's a battle that I went through when I went through my depression,

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but I reached out and I was like, look, I mean, because if you guys listen to

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the first couple of episodes,

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I mean, my depression almost took me out of here to where, you know,

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I didn't sleep. I didn't eat.

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I didn't, you know, I didn't have any social interaction outside of my,

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you know, my current living situation other than work.

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I struggle with depression big time. I still struggle with it.

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But the final level of grief, and this is what I woke up to this morning,

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and I want you guys to catch this just for a second.

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I got to a place, I think I'm at a place of simply accepting the situation.

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Out of all five of these stages of grief, I think acceptance is the hardest one.

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You figure that acceptance, you know, accepting the situation for what it is, is liberating.

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And to some degree it is but for me my acceptance was not as liberating as I

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thought it was going to be I struggle with acceptance because.

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I suffer from I have a hard time with acceptance because of the circumstances

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of the situation in the beginning so the marriage ended and it ended rather quickly quickly,

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she moved on rather quickly.

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And I really, really struggle in that arena. And I'm going to keep it a buck right there.

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I really, really struggle in that arena because, you know, 10 years,

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you know, almost 10 years.

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And to be thrown away like a piece of garbage. And, you know,

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I get the whole sentiment, you know, once a woman's fed up, right? I get that.

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But as a man, though, still struggle in that.

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And I'm like, you know, why'd you, you know, why'd you throw me away so quick?

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Why did you move on? on so fast? Why did you, why were you so swift to run into another man?

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But at the same time, you know, I kind of understand it. Then I don't, you know what I mean?

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So I was, you know, I'm conflicted a lot of days, but this morning I woke up

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and I was just in the, on a, on a level of accepting and just being okay with

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accepting the situation.

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Now, am I happy about it? Absolutely not. Nobody said that happiness is bundled

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with acceptance because it's not.

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It's just one of those things that has to be done in this life in order for you to move forward.

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I have to move forward with my life.

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I think I wasted a lot of time on the other four stages of grief when I could

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have just accepted it a long time ago and moved on.

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A lot of times We halt our own progression in this life because we're stuck

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on one of these stages of grief.

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She moved on. I had to accept that.

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She found affection in the arms of another guy. I had to accept that.

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I have to accept that I am a part-time father to my son now. I have to accept that.

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I have to accept that she don't give two flying flips about what I think.

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What I'm doing, all of that.

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Just like I said in the last episode, what I eat don't make her poop. She doesn't care.

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So once I got to that point to where I have to accept the situation,

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I said, okay, this is definitely a podcast episode because I want to tell the

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people that are listening out here,

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you simply have to accept it.

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Move on. And just like I said in the last episode of this podcast,

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Let them talk. Let them do whatever they're going to do.

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Your freedom, your liberation, your blessing is on the other side of the acceptance.

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The same way I used to tell people, you know, sometimes God's funny.

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Those of you who are believers or you're divine or whatever that is for you guys.

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Sometimes God's funny. God is funny about people and situations.

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And what God will do sometimes is that he will put your blessing or your progression

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or your liberation on the other side of the test.

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I want you guys to catch this. on the other side of the test because when we're

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going through the test, we don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

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We don't see any kind of solution.

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We don't see none of that. We're going through the test. We're going through

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our storm. We don't know.

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The guy said, okay, this is what I'm going to do for you, son.

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I'm going to put your liberation, your happiness, your blessings on the other

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side of this test. Now you're going to have to go through it in order to get it.

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And that's what I'm telling the people. That's what I'm going to tell the people

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that are listening right now.

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Now, if you are struggling with acceptance of certain situations being over,

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friendships, jobs, whatever it is you're facing right now in your life,

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please understand that God has put your blessing, your freedom,

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your liberation on the other side of this test.

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It ain't comfortable. It ain't smooth.

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It's not going to make you have butterflies. none of that is going to give you,

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it's going to be uncomfortable for you because it's uncomfortable for me.

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So I know, I speak from firsthand experience. I know exactly what it feels like

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to go through the storm, to go through the test, to go through people talking

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about you, to go through, you know, people putting dirt on your name.

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I've been there. And they're now.

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But the blessing is on the other side of the acceptance. Just accept it.

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Whatever the situation is, just accept it.

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Don't fight it. Don't you cry now. Don't you cry now. Nay another tear about

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the situation. Accept it. Move on.

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Because sometimes God moves people, situations, and things right out of your way.

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And because we are who we are as humans, and it's normal.

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You want to keep it. When God said the whole time, accept it. Move on.

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Your life, you only get one time to live it. Don't get reduced with this thing. Accept it and move on.

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So with that, I want to thank you guys for listening to another episode.

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I really appreciate it. I hope that you subscribe and follow.

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And all of that, listen to me on all podcasting platforms, Spotify,

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You are Spotify, iHeartRadio, Podbean, especially as my podcast host.

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Please follow, like, subscribe. That way you won't miss a single episode.

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So until next time, you guys have a wonderful rest of your day.

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Have a wonderful weekend. And I will talk to you guys next time.

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Music.